Tired And Sad - And Tired Of Being Sad...

[becky2008]

This is my first post, as I just joined the site. It seems to be very helpful for people, and i've gotten good information from it. I'm 33 and married, one step-daughter who we see every other weekend.

My mom will be gone one year on 06/20. My dad passed away a year and a half prior. I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers, but all are quite a bit older than me (i was the surprise kid at the end) and they are more like uncles and aunts to me. In addition to that, they have all been bickering and having stupid petty fights since mom died. I really dont want to talk to them or deal with them at all. Two of my sisters who I kind of spend time with are moving away soon. My parents were older when they had me, so i really feel cheated that I didnt get enough time with them.

I guess im feeling very alone. My husband does not understand what I am going through at all. My parents were the age of his grandparents. He also just has a hard time relating to other people. I feel like my friends are tired of me moping around and they dont even ask how im doing anymore.

Im super sad and very down. like i named the post, im tired and im sad, and tired of being sad. When it was a year after Dad died, the first anniversary hit me like a ton of bricks. Im very scared that will happen with mom's and I have been missing her SO MUCH now that its spring and she's missing the plants and flowers coming up. and i am just missing her so bad and it hurts. I dont really know where to turn, nothing seems to make me feel better.......

[leeann]

Becky... I can relate. Feeling alone.... yeah I know that feeling all too well.

And I too miss them enjoying Spring and being out in the yard.... I even miss the yardwork.. (You know it's bad when you miss yard work... )

The pettiness going on with your sibs... can't say I had to deal with that.. but there are others here who do know all about that... unfortunately. So hopefully one of them will pop in here.

But the pain.. I have learned... I must just let it hit me..like a wave. If I fight it... it's worse. So I try to just go with it and feel and express it. But you have a found a place where you can express it.... right here. And I'm so glad you *did* find us.. but ever so sorry you had to.

Anniversaries.... I have found that the anticipation of them is kinda worse than the actual day. And I have learned.. whatever I feel then or before or after... is simply "OK". I figure the day will be whatever it is. And I have dealt with everything so far.. so I guess I can deal with that too.

For sure though... we'll be here for ya. So you won't be and aren't alone.

(((((((hugs)))))))

leeann

[cubby]

I too lost my mom recently(Nov. 16, 2008.) I know how you feel. I too am sad and tired. I'm tired of being sad. I so much want to be happy and feel better, but it has been very hard for me. I hope you are able to find some comfort from all the others who post here. I know that reading the other posts have helped some but I feel as if I have a long road ahead. Spring is a time of new life with all the beautiful plants and trees in bloom.

Thanks for sharing ....