I Have To Do This......

[loving denny]

well, yesterday was very different.... in a small clearing, ground still packed down from all the traffic thru the area, i was taken to the place where my love took his last breath. the place where i walked to and sat down made denny's co-worker, a mountain of a man, cry...."that's where he passed" i heard him say. my God, no wonder that spot was so warm and welcoming. i smiled and sat there and talked with the love of my life for more than an hour, cried alot too, oh did i cry.....i shared alot of my pain with denny and felt so much tension leave my body. denny loved summer so much and in this clearing there is a flowering tree that was just breathtaking...surrounded by all these cords of wood and downed trees, there it stands....amazing. it hasn't all sank in quite yet, but i needed to go there and am so glad that i did.. and i will continue to go back until i can make it without the place where my best friend and love of my life made his way to heaven. i still cry all the time and still very raw, but my dreams and little things around me keep me moving forward, even when i don't want to. just had to share this, thanks for reading. i love you denny.........

[mrspapajohn]

Joanna - - I am so glad that you found some measure of comfort from the very spot where Denny died. My much loved husband of 28 years died at home with me by his side, and I find that I find comfort in just touching the place where he laid. He was buried out-of-state in a family plot next to his father and I am drawn to that spot like magnet. Although the tears flow like a river, I find comfort in standing by the big old tree that provides shade to his grave and talking to him for hours on end. I am really racking up the frequent flyer miles, but I understand how a place can mean so much. I hope you are also finding some measure of comfort in your life. This is a long, dark, difficult journey and my heart goes out to you.

Kathy

[loving denny]

thank you Kathy wasn't sure if anyone could understand that. i am so sorry for your loss also, and do understand now just knowing the place, being able to touch, sit, see, and yes breathe in that same place is soooooooooooo comforting to me. since denny was cremated i have no site to visit other than this and i would go mad if i didn't have it i believe. the guys that worked with denny have roped off the area where other construction traffic can't go thru it now and told me that they had done something special for us there, and i am looking forward to going there in a couple days to see what they did for their friend an co-worker. funny how i can see now too just how many people loved the same man that i did. in 3 days i hit the one month mark and i have to say that there are minutes in every day still that feels like it just hapened moments ago. this journey is going to be the ride of my life i can see, and having warm caring people like yourself who can understand just exactly how i feel is a Godsend to me, He knew that i would need guidence thru this journey and has sent me here, where i do find it because of people like you and all the others. thank you again for sharing with me, it is much appreciated and so very much loved. i'm also glad that denny's place has given me comfort. amazing that a place that i was terrified in the beginning of all this, as ever going to see, has become the very place that i feel closer to my best friend, lover and who would have been my husband this next month. thank you again Kathy, hope we talk again....

[Boo Mayhew]

Joanna

you were so brave to go there, and I feel that it shows just how close you and Denny were and still are. Let us know what his friends have done with the space. It will give you comfort that others care so much about him too. I got tears in my eyes when you described his co-worker breaking down too. There's nothing so gut-wrenching as seeing a fully grown man cry is there?

Because I am so sentimental, as well as being a tiny bit practical, can I suggest something? It's just because you and I are both holding onto unwashed laundry and stuff ... it sounds like you are talking about a construction site? Which would mean that the site won't stay the same forever. Do you want to ask his co-worker friends if there is a brick or stone or plant that you can take from this place and build or plant into your own home? You may not like that idea at all, but just in case ...

[Denny]

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand as I lost my wife Good Friday after 28 years unexpectedly. I go to where she died and her grave frequently. I am having a hard time going on. I hope you find comfort.

also my name is Denny

[Boo Mayhew]

Denny, welcome to the Forum. Have you started your own topic because it helps if you do that. You'll get support and empathy from everyone on here. I'm so sorry that you lost your love and I know how hard it is to lose someone without warning. It is such a terrible shock, and you are very early in your "journey". Please keep posting Denny because everyone on here is lovely and they really do understand what you are going through.