My Family Is Melting!

[Imadaddysgirl2]

To say that I come from a dysfunctional family is putting it mildly! We have alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorders, gambling, etc. affecting all of us in one way or another. My father has pancreatic cancer and was given 6 months to live this last march. My father is using laughter therapy as a way to cope, but I don't feel like laughing!!! I'm being branded as being too negative by crying or having 'sadness in my voice'. I've chosen to not run away from my eating disorder, but, now, I feel like running away from my family!!! I'm having alot of emotions right now including jealousy of my sibling and other family members who can seem to stuff their feelings. But I can't and don't want to!! I'm really grieving right now, and I don't want to delay my grief (I have other health issues and a child of my own and I must take care of us). The gossip machine is really bad right now as well. Is it wrong to want to run away from my family? I don't and won't stop seeing my father, but the rest of the family I think I would like to not see them as much, if not at all after Father dies.

Thanks for listening.

[leeann]

Daddy'a gal Have you ever heard of "detaching with love"? It is different than running away but just as effective.

Here.. read this:

http://books.google.com/books?id=YDiK3lDS9...lt&resnum=3

I think you can detach from your sibs without detaching from your Dad. Just pay their comments absolutely no mind and do not seek any contact with them. If you are not up to speaking to them.... let your answering machine get/take the call. In other words... skip the gossip grapevine. Detach from your sibs...understanding they are only trying to cope the best way they know how to.

Your means of coping is different and that's f-i-n-e.. so don't let them or anyone else tell you any different. Keep the focus on you and your child. If your sibs are creating chaos.... that doesn't mean you have to join them. Leave them to their chaos and you just do what works for you. I have had to detach from some family members as well as from some friends. It gets easier to do once you are trying it for awhile. I limit contact.. at times down to NO contact depending on how I am feeling. I have enough on my own plate without sticking my nose onto theirs. lol

So hold your head up and just continue to do what works for you. Let them do their own thing. Just keep yourself invested emotionally in yourself, your child, your Dad and anyone else that is supporting you at the moment. I'd say you do not need anyone around you that would want to tear you down instead of holding you up right now. So... detach my friend.... It is a form of 'tough love' but I have found it is just absolutely necessary for my sanity sometimes.

And of course... vent away here!

(((((Hugs))))

leeann

[Imadaddysgirl2]

Thankyou sooooo much Leeann!! I think I just didn't know if that was ok or not. It's so confusing right now. But you have helped alot. Thanks again!