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Posted

Hi Everyone,

My mother passed away 2 weeks ago tomorrow, due to pneumonia. Her immune system was compromised due to a terminal condition. She was only 66 years of age. Our relationship was troubled at the best of times, but right now none of that matters. I am in a loop between regret and anger topped off with I simply do not understand, and I feel she just gave up in the end. I thought it might be a good idea at this point to reach out to others who understand. I read through some of the posts here and found it insightful and compassionate so I registered.

Looking forward to reading more words of wisdom and sharing my own experiences with you.

Sharon

Posted

Dear Sharon,

I'm sorry about your mom's death. You are right in recognizing the support in the people here. They are amazing and unfortunately, experienced in the same way. I think when someone close to us dies, we don't just mourn the loss of them, but the loss of what the relationship could have been. Your feelings will be all over the map, so keep posting here and take good care of yourself. It's a bumpy trail ahead.

Love,

Kath

Posted

Hi Kath, thank you for the welcome. Saturday was tough it was exactly two weeks ago that she passed. We went to visit my husbands mother and had to pass the hospital to get there, didn't know anything could hurt that much. I have my family and they try their best to be supportive that really helps.

Posted

Hi Linda. Sorry about your mom. I too lost my mom, Nov. 16, 2008. She was only 65. I know how difficult it can be, You will have some good and bad days, Don't try to hold in your feelings. Let them out. It does help. There are many things that can trigger our emotions and boy can it hurt. I hope you can find support here as I know that everyone tries to be supportive and understanding. We all have lost someone that we loved. We understand even though we all grieve differently. Take care of yourself!

Cubby

Posted

Hi Cubby, very sorry for your loss and thank you for the wise words. I keep trying to remember not to hold it all in, but it is a habit I built up over the years. I know it can be detrimental to healing, and appreciate your reminder. I send positive energy to aid all who are healing, that helps as well.

Hugs

Posted

Hi again, I need to ask if anyone else has experienced a situation similar to this one.

Someone started emailing me privately after I had joined this site. We exchanged a few emails back and forth it was fine. But then the emails became very direct, mentioning very personal issues I am currently dealing with that had never been discussed, but making it sound like the issues were something they had struggled with. The emails also seemed very rushed to get to those points and did not address much of my comments I had made to that person. I will not go into detail in case I am mistaken, but I have a strange feeling this person knows me quite well and is quite possibly an estranged family member whom I do not wish to have contact with right now. This really would be the last thing I need right now, after my Mom's death.

So my question is, has anyone experienced something like this and if so how did you deal with it?

Thanks for any help in advance.

Aries

Posted

Oh boy! I am sure I am not the only one, but the pain is so aweful, you think, "how can this be?" I am new to this as well as my Mom passed May 21, 2009. But in my case I was very close to her and she was only 63. There is a book i found called Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman and I have only read a few chapters, but I gives insight for every different aspect of women who went through the same thing. It has been so severe for me that I went into therapy right away before I cracked under the pressure. I don't have a big family and my Dad is not part of this equation. I have a sister, but she is not capable to help out, so that leaves me. The last 5 mths for me have been an absolute traumatic experience, that I wonder how I got through it all, hence instant therapy....... I am the strongest person I know, but this is my limit, and I have to give in. Find the on person you can confide in and utilize them. Find books, read anything you can find online, that is all i have been doing, just trying to cope...

Hope this helped a little.... ((((((((((((((huggs)))))))))))))))

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