What Do You Do When You Get The Urge To Talk To Them So Much?

[emptyinside]

Do you talk to them, out loud, and pretend they hear you?

Do you talk to them in your head?

Do you imagine what they'd say back?

I am having a bad week, a very bad week. The one person who understands me COMPLETELY and to whom I could say anything and everything isn't here, and now I feel I have to edit myself now when speaking to others. I can't be as myself in this world anymore. I just wish I could have one more talk.

[David'sGirlStill]

Emptyinside,

I completely understand that feeling. My hsuband was the one person I could just be me with. In answer to your questions:

I do all of those things. I'll talk out loud to him, sometimes in places I shouldn't.

I talk in my head and wait to hear his answer. Is it my imagination? Who knows, all I know is if I didn't still talk to him I would be crazier than I already am.

I also write letters to him a lot. I'm just not ready or able to break that communciation yet. Not sure if I ever will be.

My only advise is do whatever feels better to you, out loud, in your head or on paper.

Hugs to you

[Limbo]

Emptyinside,

I am very sorry for your loss. My Mom passed three weeks ago and I am very new to the bereavement process, but I can tell you I talk to her more now than when she was alive. In my case I have received affirmations that either she is listening or some other, maybe, omniscient presence is.

Warmest hugs

Aries

[mlg]

You betcha, I talk to him in all those ways. I was always big on giving him cards, whether it be when he bit in to his sandwich at work, opened his suitcase if he had to go on a trip, left it on the table , whatever. I still leave cards at the cemetery and usually write something in them too. It just makes things seem a little more "normal".

I totally agree that we can no longer be ourselves. When someone asks how I'm doing, I say pretty good or OK or something to that affect but in my mind I think "liar, liar. Nobody or at least not many people really give a rat's ass how we are feeling. If you tell them or cry they shy away or tell you that you've got to get on with your life. Well, I've got news for them, I have no life any more. It only tends to make me more bitter because most people seem to stick their heads in the sand and think it will all go away. For those of us on here, it will NEVER totally go away. It may be a little less painful at times but it is always there.

I hope I didn't make you feel worse, but that's what's nice about this site. You can say anything.

[emptyinside]

mlg, you didn't make me feel worse. You made me feel better. I'm glad someone feels the way I do. I feel less alone. Right now all these horrible images of my dad ill are flashing through my head. He was only really bad for about a week or so (the ammonia made him loopy, and he has NEVER been loopy, EVER, in his life, so it scared the crap out of me). After that, he recovered and was mentally perfect. Well, he passed unexpectedly months later, and though he only was strange for a week, and that was relatively a long time ago, I still can't get that out of my head! That one week when he started talking strangely, seeing things, looking possessed. He was the smartest, most educated, most logical person I knew. To see him babbling and saying weird things for a week was very hard, and now it is haunting me day and night, even though his ammonia went down after that and he was back to normal.

I can't be myself after seeing him like that. I feel like I have PTSD. My life isn't mine now. I'm a vessel for those horrible images, and I can only put on a stupid show for everyone: yes, I'm okay, blah blah blah. Don't want people to be uncomfortable because, after all, I'm supposed to be over it by now, right?

I can't get those images out of my mind.

You can say anything, mlg. Thank you.