tootie Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Yes I know x-mas is supposed to be for the kids & oh so fun.That is why I feel so bad.You see last year was my 1st x-mas without mom, but I was staying with my sister, so I did not have to decorate at all. Now this year I have a home of my own & bringing out all of the decorations was really hard.I have so many that I got from my mom, that the kids got from her, as I handed them to the children to put on the tree I cried & remembered each & every one. With all of my crying, my poor children kept asking mommy why are you crying? Christams is supposed to be a happy time. Grandma would want us to be happy. But then by the end of the box of tree ornaments, & a box of kleenex, my kids were in my arms crying too.I am so sorry I made them feel so sad. What was I to do? I could not hold it in, it all just hit me like a ton of bricks.We all sat & held eachother for almost an hour & did nothing but talk about Grandma. Then they both went their own ways, they still had tears in their eyes.Man I feel so bad they both even went to bed crying.The last thing I ever want to do is hurt my children. That is why I always wait till they are at school or in bed & then I sit & cry & think about mom.This is the 1st time since her services that I have done this.I feel like such a bad mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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