My Dad (bestfriend) Died May 18, 2009

[tiffyj2002]

My dad passed away unexpectedly on May 18, 2009. I talked to him on the phone at 10:47 while I was at the SFO airport. I always called him whenever I landed/departed on an airplane. He told me to find something to eat, find my gate, take a nap, and call him when I was headed home. I never heard from him again. I called him 8 times that night (I later in the week looked). I knew something was wrong because I talked to my dad sometimes 3-4 times a day. I told him everything about my life! He was trully my bestfriend, savior, and dad! I miss him so much. I am 34 and he was 62. He passed away 2 days before his birthday. My birthday was 2 weeks later to the date and he had already purchased my bday gift. I didn't open it until my birthday!

My parents are divorced and he has a new wife. All was fine until the day after my birthday I have not heard from her since (now 2 months). I was not able to go back to work, function in reality for about a month in a half. I went to 2 weddings in June which were incredibly painful because he will never see me at my wedding. I finally went back to work after the 4th of July. Brief History: I work with my mom and up until May 18 basically ran the business. I returned and she promptly demoated me and had me doing the grunt/crap work. I was insulted and had a hard time being there for the entire 8 hours of the day. I usually lasted 3 or 4 hours. She then began saying very mean things to me, "You don't do anything right, you make so many mistakes, you are a screw-up, etc". I was so hurt but because I was hurting in so many other ways and basically in a fog I let her take it out on me.

She has told me, The day I called her to tell her my dad had passed away she says, I couldn't stop yelling at her. My response "what was i suppose to say, ha mom guess what but dad has died, so what are you doing today"? I am not able to grieve around her and apparently I am suppose to be perfect.

I was out of town last week (not by choice) but also to see my boyfriend. I returned home and she had me in complete tears on thursday and friday. She said, the most insulting things to me and tearing me apart! I sat in my office crying. Long story short today she fired me! She said, you never do anything right, make so many mistakes, etc, etc, etc! I find it so strange that pre-May 18 I was running a business and in the process of taking it over but suddenly now my dad (who she knows was my bestfriend) is gone and she takes it upon herself to rip me apart and FIRE ME, WTF?

I do see a grieve counselor who told me today: Your mom openly let everyone know that she would take care of you and your brother but now in reality she does not want to do that....and for her to suddenly have to take care of you or be nice is too overwhelming. It is true.

I have not been able to stop crying since last wednesday (when I returned home). I went to the cemetary and laid down next to his grave for over an hour in heat at 100+ degrees.

Now, I don't understand with everything going on how my mother, my own mother can fire me! I know she is telling people a completelly different story and making me sound like the bad person. I trully am not believe me she says the meanniest (is that a word?) things to me since I returned. She is all I have left but she doesn't seem to care. She tells me I am self-centered and selfish......I am not! My own grieve counselor told me today, i've only known you for a short while and can tell you that you are in no way any of those things.

I read all of these posts from people and have never posted anything. I didn't know what to write. I didn't know what I needed. I have some amazing friends where others don't understand why I haven't moved on. I have some who understand but start to tell me to look for a job, move, do this..I honestly can't imagine doing anything.

I go to bed at a normal time but wake up in the middle of the night thinking about my dad, I dream about him, and constantly think about him during the day. I am so hurt and lost.

Thank you. I hope some of this mess made a little bit of sense.

[emptyinside]

You made plenty of sense. I just PMed you, Tiffy. Hi. The people here are amazing. You'll receive lots of patience and love here.

Em

[Kavish]

I am sorry for your loss. It is quite clear your mom is jealous of you! Sorry for the double whammy. Have faith in your abilities , get back on your feet. I know It is hard on you, let on anybody else but it is what happens when we lose the trusted souls in our lives. I know they will look out for us so as not to get us lost.

Kavish