The Phone Book/ Christmas Cards

[Guest Vickie O'Neil]

Decided to send cards this year & my phone book was falling apart & Pat had a new one started prior to his death, so I worked on transferring addresses & numbers to His Book. I crossed off all the people in my book that had dyed or disappeared from my life since Pat's death, friends, inlaws.

His phone book is full of helpful sayings..."imagine The Miracles yet to come"...yes we were expecting a Miracle, an organ transplant. The lists he had patiently made of the numerous Dr's we visited. THIS made my heart break.. when I saw he had written down Our addresses & phone #s...he couldn't remember when his blood ammonia was too high. Seeing his handwriting made me hurt. I looked at the entrys for people I didn't know & actually called 1 of them. Taught with Pat, didn't know he'd dyed. Stuart knew my sister who worked at the same High School. He told me how highly Pat always spoke of me & that was like a Hug from the Past. Its not in me to call the others, I wonder who "Frog" is?

The cards are in the mail box, & the ones I've received from my older friends are addressed to Mrs. Pat O'Neil. I can't bear the thought of going to the mall, even the grocery store is Hard. I may just recluse for Christmas.

[mrspapajohn]

Vickie - - Just thinking about you going through that notebook broke my heart. A notebook like that is full of promises for future meetings, contacts, conversations with the people whose names and contact information are so often lovingly recorded on those pages. I have not been able to bring myself to go through Stephen's contacts yet. I have gotten a few cards from friends of ours, but I haven't yet responded. Maybe next week.

As far as handling Christmas, "recluse" sounds like a good strategy to me. It worked for me over Thanksgiving. Please tale care of yourself.

Peace,

Kathy

[Guest Vickie O'Neil]

Hi Kathy,

Thanks for your note. Regarding reclusing, I don't know if its the answer for me. I may try some baking, & attempt my Grandma's Kuchen recipe, I know it would bring joy to Mom's heart, even if it's not like Grandma's. Just having me show up would make Mom feel good.

Love, Vic

[kayc]

The first Christmas after I lost George, I didn't send out Christmas cards...I wouldn't have known what to say and just couldn't go through it...we always did that together, I make my own cards and George would always help me. Because he was a fisherman, I'd designed a "fish card" with a Christmas bauble coming from it's mouth saying Merry Christmas...even though it was only June, I'd already started making them because of how cumbersome the task was, and I already had quite a few made, when he died unexpectedly. I never did use them and eventually my dog ate them.

[Korina]

Vickie:

I would say trust yourself when deciding what to do (or what not to do). I know for me, I have to be around family, or I would simply fall apart. Again, that is just what I know is right for me (and for my daughter) - it is not going to be the right thing for everyone.

And I gotta tell you, Scott's handwriting ALWAYS yanks at my heart and results in tears. I guess it is just because handwriting is sooooo that person.

Hugs,

Korina