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Setting The Memorial Gravestone

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It's been quite a sorrowful journey these past 5 months since Duke died unexpectedly from complications of our motorcycle accident. I've posted a few times on the site as to how I'm managing, first healing my body from compression fractures, and fractured tibia, dealing with cold in-laws, trying to help my boys through their grief, my daughter-in-law's and ex daughter=in=law's pain and grief, financial matters, and just grief and mourning. I miss my husband of 40 years. He was my best friend and the loneliness is so painful. My boys and I designed the stone and ordered it Nov. 14 and it was placed on the grave December 14th. Something has come over me since the stone was set. There is a peace in my heart and some contentment. I remember visiting my Dad's grave in 1995 and the stone wasn't placed until my Mom passed in 1996. After the stone was in place the same "peace" came over me. Though I never felt Duke was there, now I have felt this contentment that he's happy. Has anyone felt this same thing? Hope all got through xmas fine, though I know it was rough for us all.

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jrm: You are certainly dealing with alot - more, perhaps, than most of us. And I congratulate you for your fortitude in continuing to put one foot in front of the other on this journey.

My husband's gravemarker has been of great importance to me. I wrote about it in the thread about "behaviors".

I am glad you are feeling a sense of peace. I am hoping to feel the same thing when I visit the National Cemetery and see my husband's new gravemarker, listing the Battalion, Company, and years he served in Vietnam.

We have all made it through the first Christmas. Hooray for us!


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Dear JRM,

I think there is a peace that comes with the gravestone being in place. They are no longer just a memory, but a physical presence that we can once again visit. It will tell generations that he was here, on this earth for 56 years. That was important to me; to let others know that he was here, and won't be forgotten. I custom ordered my husband's stone also and there was an added surprise when it arrived. One side had two pine trees next to my name and his had three. Bob had three children, but only two were with me, so it fit beautifully, even though I never specified how many trees to have. Our children took pride in seeing "themselves" included by our names. It is a legacy in a way. We used to say rather jokingly, that only the rocks live forever. There is a sense of permanence in the headstone that I appreciate. In that, I find peace.

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