Another Terrible Day

[JohnG]

Here it goes again. Another long day of trying to just get through. Everything hurts. My body, my mind, my relationships with friends and family. My hope and memories even hurt.All I want to do is to crawl onto the sofa, under my favorite red comforter with my sheep pillow named Sean and not be bothered with anything or anyone until this is all over. I am sick of life this way. I'm sitting in my driveway at 3 am weeping as if it will never stop. I know it's just a bad day but when you feel all alone "just a bad day" is a pretty horrific thing.

Well... off to try and cope.

[Guest Gamer205]

I just want to Say I am so Sorry for the problems you are going threw, I'm thinking of you, and please hold in there, I know theres nothing I can do to change the bad things that has happened and the sadness you feel, but I want you to know if you just need to talk or need someone to just listen, feel free to send me a email and I'll get back with you as soon as I can,

Please try to hold on and just know there are People that Care,

Gamer205

[mrspapajohn]

John - - I wish that there were something I could say that would make a horrible day a little easier. It seems like even the weather is contributing to the sadness and the loneliness. I remember when I first lost my husband, Stephen, and people would tell me that it would get better, I didn't believe them. It felt as if my skin had been peeled off and it took every ounce of self-control I had just to keep from screaming. Everything was so raw and the loneliness was like a living thing that hovered over everything. I am still sad. I don't think that time will ever cure the sadness or the missing of my beloved, but I am coping, when I didn't think that I ever would - and you will too. My heart goes out to you and I am trying to send some of the strength that I have gotten from others your way. I wish that you find a little peace for today, and a little more each day that goes by.

Kathy

[Susie Q]

Oh John, I'm so sorry. I understand the feelings you describe because I have many times like that too, but after 5 months, I don't feel that way every minute of every day anymore.

I know it's tough and the despair can be overwhelming. I believe I hit rock bottom at about three months after my husband died. I turned a major corner in my grieving just a few weeks ago when I decided not to rail against the pain and wish it away. I decided just to accept it because really I have no other choice. Somehow not fighting myself makes me feel more settled and has given me back some inner strength.

I've gone through the motions of living every horrible day since August but here it is in January and although I didn't think it would be possible, I am starting to feel a bit more in control. I don't miss him any less, think of him any less or cry any less, but what is different is that the gaping and raw wound in soul has started to heal over just a little bit. It feels good.

Hang on and just keep doing the ordinary things of life, even though they bring you no pleasure at the moment so that your mind and body can do what they have to do to start to heal. All good wishes to you, today and every day...Susie Q

[David'sGirlStill]

John,

I wish I had wonderful words of wisdom to make your pain go away. But there aren't any. However, I like the others on here do understand the celluer pain your feeling. Please know you are not alone, your loved one is right ther beside you. (That I believe with all of my being, or I would have joined my husband by now) ALSO we are here for you. This board has gotten me thriugh a many 3am in the past 11 months.

I wish I could wrap my arms around. Hang in there, I can't say it gets easier or hurts any less but it does get different. YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS.

Hugs

Phyllis

[Korina]

John:

I am thankful that both my mom and mother-in-law told me that it was going to take a long time to start to heal. No false expectations. It is an emotional roller coaster; I remember some days when I could barely get off the couch. The biggest thing that helped me (besides having everyone here, plus a lot of positive support from friends and family), looking back, is that I had our baby girl depending on me - so I really had no choice but to be there for her. I promised Scott I would do my best as I sat with him hooked up to life support, slipping away from us. I guess what I am saying is that perhaps you can find something positive to focus on, something to live for, maybe something for Krystal, that will help you get through these awful moments and days.

Take care,

Korina