Need For Solitude To Heal

[JohnG]

As of late I have found myself feeling a great need for solitude. It's not a sitting around brooding, feeling sorry for myself, wallowing in my misery thing, it's a genuine desire to want to feel my emotions to their fullest good and bad.I review issues raised in counseling, feelings my family and friends have brought up and anything and everything to do with my my present reality. It really feels good to know that I can go through these feelings and survive. I find I have a bit more clarity about issues in my life past, present and future and I am certainly stronger. It's easy to understand wanting to feel the good ones but the bad ones?! They seem to help the most once felt, thought out and dealt with. These brief episodes don't solve or end my pain but they help get me a little closer to wherever I'm supposed to end up.

This may contradict my lonliness and feeling of abandonment and I honestly can't explain why it's different, it just is. It's something I need. I don't want to be around anybody, it's not that they aren't needed but for this part of my grief journey I need to be alone.

[Kat2005]

John,

I am so glad that you have found a way to work through some of your grief. This a major step. Congrats!!!!!

Take care,

Kat

[Susie Q]

John

I agree with how you feel. I need the solitude to keep me on track and get me through the next day.

After the first week or two I had to fight to send loving and caring people home. They wanted to stay with me in an effort to shelter me from loneliness. But I needed to have the choice of when to be with others. I am back at work now after five months off and I have returned to some of my interests. I now look forward to the times I can be at home alone (or with him and my thoughts, might be more accurate).

It's six months today since I lost him. I intend to stay in our home by myself. It's where I feel safest and most settled and where I feel some healing beginning. I sense a glimmer of some healing in your words too.