Tim

[Chrissie]

Well another lonely night. I cried all the way home from work. I miss Tim so much! He was my world and I just feel so empty inside. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing better and then I have a night like tonight. Why do people think all you need is time to grieve and you'll all of a sudden be better. I hurt so much tonight, I miss his touch, his smile and the silly little things he did to make me laugh. I just can't believe he's gone. Will this pain in my heart ever get better?

[Kat2005]

Chrissie,

I lost my husband 10 months tomorrow. He was also my best friend and soulmate. I can't tell you the hurt goes away, it doesn't. It just seems like I control my emotions instead of my emotions controlling me. Don't get me wrong, I still have those days where I think of what could have been and of course the tears start flowing. I don't think the tears will ever go away totally. He was my world for so long. I also know exactly what you are saying about people expecting you to get over this. You really cannot set a certain time to stop grieving. This is your journey and you need to deal with it in your own way. Someone has to actually go through this before they can really understand it. Give yourself time and eventually your memories will make you smile. I hope this has helped. I sometimes have a hard time putting my thoughts into words. Just remember that we are here for you.

Take care,

Kat

[kayc]

Chrissie, Yes, the pain will get better...eventually we learn to adjust and accept our new lot in life and the pain lessens in frequency. For a long time though, it comes in waves, at any given moment, with no prior warning...accept it as normal. The craziest things set me off, particularly until I had three years under my belt. I still miss George but I guess I've gotten used to the fact that my life is no longer the same.

[Korina]

Chrissie:

I have no doubt that I will miss Scott for the rest of my life - I have from the bottom of my heart this last 10 months. This is such a hard process to go through. It is not easy, and sometimes it is all we can do to get through the next moment let alone the next day. Trust yourself and listen to yourself in how you deal with your grief - no one can tell you exactly when and how you will feel, though all of us here have gone through similar stages, and can give you a pretty good idea. And unless someone has experienced a loss like yours, it is almost impossible for them to understand how you are feeling.

Truly, as time goes on, as already mentioned, it will get easier, perhaps because we have to adjust to our new reality, perhaps because somehow we find the strength to survive. I am able to survive because I have our baby daughter to care for; she brings me a great deal of joy in the midst of all this sorrow, just as she does for Scott's family (and my immediate family, as well - kids have an amazing way of making us all smile).

And I have found some stability in my new daily routines (though I cannot say they give me comfort, because of the gap in this routine), and this helps me get through the days.

Be kind to yourself, try to eat something healthy everyday, and get some exercise when you are ready. Grief is exhausting, and you need to do what you can to keep from getting sick. Keep coming back to us - I know it helped me!

Hugs,

Korina