A Question For Marty T !

[jodo]

Hi Marty, I had a question, Can you please tell me when someone is new to the site and shares their story - Why it is that you welcome some and not others ? I took it very personal that you never said anything to me (after all you even welcomed someone who had lost their cat!) I know I'm extremely sensitive right now, but it hurt, and others might be hurt the same way ! well, Thank-you, Jodi

[MartyT]

Hi Jodo ~ I'm so sorry that you're feeling hurt by anything I've done or failed to do as the moderator of this site, and I appreciate your letting me know. It certainly is not my intention to make you or anyone else feel slighted or neglected when they're here.

I can assure you that I follow every single thread on this site, and I read every single post. When I step in to say something, it's usually because a member's post may have gone more than 24 hours without a response and I don't like to let that happen. If a member has a question about something that I feel qualified to answer, or if I think I have something useful to add to a discussion taking place, I will post a response. Sometimes I answer technical questions about the functioning of the site. Other times I step in if I think a member might benefit from some information I've found that I hope will be relevant and helpful, whether that is an article, a book, another Web site or some other resource.

As you've accurately observed, I don't make it a practice to welcome each new member to our site ~ mostly because our members do such a fine job of assuming that role. If it seems to me that a new member is connecting well with others here and indicates that she or he feels supported and understood by them, then I prefer to stay in the background, since that is one of the primary purposes of our site: to enable members to connect people with others whose losses are similar to their own. I don't want to set myself up as the "expert" here ~ I believe very firmly that everyone's grief journey is unique to that individual, and that each person here is the real "expert" in his or her own grief process. We are all here to learn from one another.

Our Loss of a Parent forum has been quite active lately, and it seems to me that all the participants in that forum have been quite supportive of one another. As far as I know, your first post was in the thread, Feeling So Sensitive and Lonely, on March 30 at 10:02 a.m. Within ten minutes you received a response from another member, and that pattern continued for the next three days ~ so it seemed to me that you were connecting quite nicely with several other members mourning the loss of their parents. (Actually you and I did have an exchange with each other that first day. You may recall that around noon you indicated you were having some trouble with losing the text of your post, and I responded to you around 5 p.m. that day with a suggested solution.)

I hope this answers, Jodo ~ If not, please let me know, and I'll do my best to clarify.

[jodo]

Good morning Marty, Thank-you for your very nice response!! I understand now ! I should have been able to think all that out in my head, but my head doesn't work the same anymore!! I Thank-you for being here for all of us, and I can tell by the advice you share with others that you're a very smart and caring woman. Have a great Day ! (and Thank-you again!), Jodi

[MartyT]

You are most welcome, Jodi dear! I'm glad you asked your question, because if you were wondering about my role here, it's likely that others were wondering too. And I think your head is working just fine