We Got The Autopsy Report Today

[missyme]

My brother died Jan 8, 2010. We just got the autopsy report today. He died of an accidental prescription drug overdose. I had suspected this was the cause...he had been prescribed oxycodone for frostbite about a year before he died and I could tell that he was abusing them. I spoke to him about it a number of times. The sad fact is that both his hands and his heart hurt so much that he numbed himself with the painkillers. This makes me even more sad. Both of my parents are devastated all over again. It just seems like such a waste.......

My comfort is that I don't think he had any pain.....and he doesn't anymore.

It's just the pain of all of us that lost him that is so hard to handle......I hate this

[MartyT]

Missy, dear, I'm so very sorry to learn that you've received such awful news, and I imagine it's like being hit with the death of your brother all over again. I'm so sorry.

If you are willing, I encourage you visit the Suicide Loss page on my Grief Healing Web site, which contains a number of links to relevant resources that I think you may find quite useful in this situation. See especially those sites aimed at survivors of suicide. Even though a death related to an overdose may be accidental, it is a death by suicide nonetheless, and the issues for the survivors of such a tragic loss are very much the same. You might also want to see some of the sites listed on my Traumatic Loss page.

[missyme]

Marty, Thank you for the support. It does feel like we are losing my brother again.

I have a question for you. I have read before your statement that overdose is suicide. Can you explain that more to me? It feels right because they did die by their own hand but I'm wondering if there is more to it that you can share with me.

Thank you,

Missy

[MartyT]

Missy, dear ~ Basically there are four causes of death: death by natural causes (aging, infection, disease, etc.), death from accidental injuries, death by homicide, and death by suicide. All I meant was that, whether it was intentional or not, your brother's death was a result of his own actions, and that can be extremely difficult for those left behind to process and understand. It can complicate your grief. I simply wanted to point you to some resources that I think would be most helpful and relevant for you.

[missyme]

Marty,

I have heard you say that to others and I do agree....I think suicide just like drug abuse is a way to end the pain. I think my brother had a lot of physical and emotional pain that he was trying to avoid.

Thank you for this site.......although the tears continue I feel better having a safe place to be.

Missy