My Sisters Grief

[SHeiss]

Hi all!

Normally I am on here writing about my dad but, my little sister who is almost 23 is taking all of this VERY HARD! She has 2 children on top of it all. She sounds so far away (mentally) when I talked with her today. I am almost afraid of her abilities to take care of my niece and nephew. I am going over to her house today to assess the situation.

I feel badly for her, but at the same time she makes me angry because she needs to focus on my niece and nephew and what they need. She is very sad about our dad and within the past week has been crying profusely. She has recently been fired from her job which has added to the issue I am sure, and now has no medical insurance to cover counseling needs. I don't know what to do.

Thanks once again for listening!

-Shar

[STARKISS]

Hi Sheiss,

I know you care about your sister and her kids, but you need to remember we all grieve differently and if you do find the kids are not getting taken care of properly than you should step in but taking them away from your sister might getting her thinking that you are ganging up on her... If they need help than try and go into the house and help but leave the kids where they are... Unless the kids are in physical danger there mom might need them to get her through all of this.. Shelley

[SHeiss]

Starkiss,

Thank you for your reply. I have spoken with my sister and I have expressed my worries for her and she has decided to try to find help. I just explained that her babies need her to be ok and maybe she should look into some "help" as she just cries from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to sleep. She has agreed with me on this and has started checking into things. I am just keeping an eye on her, I made sure my niece and nephew were fed and had clean diapers and they did when I went to her house.

[STARKISS]

Hi Sheiss,

You sound like a really caring sister and someone who your sister can really count on... I wish my sister would have helped me in that way... Take care Shelley

[loulou]

the first few months after dad died I was a WRECK.I have 2 little ones,and I did have the hardest time dealing with them all day alone everyday.I wish someone would have helped me more.My mom and fiance made some comments about me being "fit" to care for them.I felt like "f*ck you...how about some help!"Coming up on 5 months now,and I'm better with the kids.I think I got used to the grief more.I dont know.I understand the concern,and I feel bad for your sister.It's hard.You do sound like a good sister,and she is lucky to have you.

[SHeiss]

Well the day I wrote this I was getting info from my mom and my grandma and I was very worried about her and her kids. She truly is a good mom, I just think she gets overwhelmed and my sister wears her heart on her sleeve anyway. I have seen her since and I actually referred her to these forums. I hope she will get as much relief here as I do mentally.

Thanks for all of your replies!