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Organ Donor Remembrance Ceremony

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Hello Everyone

I've been here lots over the past few weeks and the site continues to help me greatly but I just haven't been able to contribute. Some pretty heavy emotions running wild at the moment.

I've been missing him so very much and just keeping it all together at work each day is such an effort that the night in my fortress brings tears and sadness, TV in bed and hopefully, eventually some sleep. I feel like I'm turning into Jekyll and Hyde - OK during the day and a mess at night. Maybe that's progress from being a mess all the time.

Also had one of Marty's STUGs (sudden, temporary upsurges of grief) in the shopping centre food court last weekend when I sat down alone to eat. And I'd had a good afternoon buying some nice things for myself given the skinnier me emerging! Some kind attention from a caring young mum helped.

I know it comes down to today's Remembrance and Reflection Ceremony organised by Donate Life for organ donor families and recipients and their families. I feel I need to take part in something that honours him for his commitment to helping others even in death. Thankfully I will have some close company, but I think this service has been on my mind so much that it's responsible for all the extra tears this week - if it's possible to cry any more than usual.

As you have taught me, the dread at attending functions is sometimes harder than the actual event. I guess that's correct in this case too because I seem to have found some strength today to see it through. I look forward to sharing how it goes - I'm hoping that although it will be a sad day it will be uplifting to see the incredible benefit that he and others have brought to strangers. He was an amazing man and I continue to be so very proud of him through all my sorrow...Susie Q

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Hi Susie Q,

If it helps any to know there are others out there who have the same experiences, I am the same way with the crying. I can usually hold it together when I am out with other people, but as soon as I am alone in the car, the house, anywhere the tears flow. I've given up trying to figure out when I will stop crying, I figure it will take as long as it takes. I hope your event is helpful in some way. I think that is great you were able to treat yourself to some new things. So far losing weight is the only possitive I see to this whole grieving/death process. I wish you all the best, Elizabeth

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  • 4 weeks later...

Dear All

I wanted to tell you that going to the Remembrance Ceremony in honour of organ donors was one of the most uplifting things I've experienced since this nightmare happened. Although we had a wonderful memorial service for my husband and through the shock I took in and can remember every word, I was 'at' this function in an emotional sense. Afterwards it gave me a feeling of being able to release just a little pain that I haven't felt before.

I listened to recipients and health professionals speak of the changes they have experienced and witnessed in peoples' lives because of a transplant. I heard a twenty year old read a poem she had written thanking an anonymous donor and family for giving her the priceless gift of twelve more years with her dad that had let him see her grow into a young woman.

I saw the emotions of thanks and empathy on the faces of those wearing a green ribbon (recipients and their families) and heard their words of praise for the people who, even in death, had changed their lives.

I saw, heard and felt the pain of those of us wearing a white ribbon (donor families)at the loss of someone so dear.

I didn't really want to go but I am so pleased that I listened to the advice of close friends who went with me. It doesn't take away my enormous loss or despair but it helps to know that everyday there are eight people and hundreds of their family and friends that think of him in some way - and that he continues to make a positive impact on people - as he always did.

I'm glad I knew of his strong feelings and wishes about this topic because it made that dreadful time just that much easier to deal with. I am so very proud of him and all that he stood for.

Organ donation is a personal choice but, as the advertisement says it is important to DISCOVER - DECIDE - DISCUSS

Edited by MartyT
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Thank you so much, SusieQ, for sharing this important message with all of us, and blessings to you for fulfilling your husband's wishes in such a significant way. I think members of donor families are earthly angels among us :wub:

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