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I Lost My 40 Year Old Daughter

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On Jun 9th I lost my Daughter (only child) to a MRSA Staph infection. She leaves behind a 4 year old daughter and loving husband. I feel like there is a cloud surrounding me all the time. Nothing seems to matter anymore. My Daughter was a bright loving mother to her only daughter. Everyday she would teach her something new. My biggest sadness is that my granddaughter will never know her mother greatness. I am located in Southern California, does anyone here know of any support groups in this area

Cheers Jennifer's Dad

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I am so sorry for your loss. She was so young. You and your family must be suffering horribly. Please be patient and open to the process. Grief is the hardest journey you will ever undertake. I have used resources from the following organization. Go to www.comfortzonecamp.org. They are a national organization and they hold grief camps for kids in southern california. They also have wonderful support groups for families and counseling services, or they will refer you to someone close. Although your granddaughter is too young for the camps they can help you find family support. I am 45 and my husband died suddenly at 49. We have two children. We attend a family support group here in AZ twice a month. You are wise too look for help. There are so many people who care and have gone through this very same thing. Take care, Cheryl

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Thank You, My granddaughter lives in Florida, but I will check for groups for her. She seems to understand that "Mommy" is not coming home, While in Florida, my granddaughter mentioned to me while we were putting a puzzle together, she said "You know that my mommy is not coming home", I asked her if she knew why mommy was not coming home, and she she "because her face was yellow". When my son-in law took my daughter to the hospital she was very pale and was a little jaundiced. He had to take Arianna with him to the hospital and maybe she realized that mommy was very sick. I am most worried about her growing up without a mommy and the things she will miss.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Take care and God Bless. Jim

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hi Jim,

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, I can't imagine the pain you have now for her loss and her sweet little girls loss of her Mommy. I hope maybe in a way your granddaughter will somehow be comforted still by her Mom .....kids that young tend to have special senses us grown ups have lost.

When I lost my Dad in December, my cousins daughter who is 5 and adored my Dad started shouting in the car the day after when they were travelling down to us ....she was saying she could see my Dad in the clouds with her Granny (her Mom's Mom who passed 4 years ago)....my Dad and Aunt were the best of friends and together with my Mom went for drives and picnics almost every sunday of the year, rain or sun. Her little girl said she could see them together in a car in the clouds and my Dad was helping my Aunt to find chips (aka french fries, they all regularly went to the "chipper" as we call it as they both loved their chips).The weird thing is her brother who was around 5 when my Aunt passed did the almost the same thing again in the car when coming down to be with the family, he also shouted aswell saying he could see my Aunt in the clouds.

So I hope your granddaughter will still "see" her Mommy close by. I wish I had words of comfort for you ....all I can do is send you lots of love, comfort and peace

take care


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Dear Jim,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain and heartache you must feel. My heart goes out to you, Arianna, your son-in-law and all. Jennifer was so young. I, myself, turned 40 on 6/10. I have two children and can't even imagine the feelings you are going thru. I lost my mom almost 7 months ago, although pain is pain and can't be compared, I can't imagine yours.

Unfortunately, I live clear across the country on the east coast and can't offer any information on help in your area. I think that you can probably call your local hospice which may have bereavment services appropriate for your young granddaughter. I think it is important to keep talking to her about her mommy and she will always feel close to her. I'm sure Jennifer has her arms wrapped around Arianna and won't ever let go.

Welcome to this site. If anything at all, it's a great place to write down your feelings and have someone listen and relate in some way. It has been a Godsend for me.

Peace and hugs to you and your family.


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Jim, dear, I too am so very sorry for your loss, and extend my deepest sympathy to you and your family ~ and I certainly appreciate your concern for your precious granddaughter. How fortunate she is to have a loving father and such a caring, compassionate grandfather in her life.

You've asked about support groups in southern California. In addition to the excellent suggestions from our members, you might consider contacting a local chapter of The Compassionate Friends. The following is taken from the main page of their Web site:

Whether your family has had a child die (at any age from any cause) or you are trying to help those who have gone through this life altering experience, The Compassionate Friends exists to provide friendship, understanding, and hope to those going through the natural grieving process. Through a network of more than 625 chapters with locations in all 50 states, as well as Washington DC and Puerto Rico, The Compassionate Friends has been supporting bereaved families after the death of a child for four decades.

The National Office and its staff also provide many levels of support to our chapters, as well as individual responses to those who call on the phone, contact us through our website, or send an e-mail that simply says, "My child has died. Help me!" We will be here as long as you need us. That is our commitment to you.

See also this post on our Grief Healing blog, Finding Grief Support That Is Right For You.

I'd also like to point you to some of the many other resources available to you. Searching for them can be such a daunting task, especially when you are in mourning yourself, and that is why I've personally searched for, evaluated and listed so many of them on my Grief Healing Web site. There you will find links to dozens of pre-screened articles, books, organizations and Web sites that you may find helpful. Here are the specific pages I think you will find most relevant:

Death of an Infant, Child, Grandchild

Helping Someone Who's Grieving

Child, Adolescent Grief

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