Guest msatwood Posted April 21, 2005 Report Share Posted April 21, 2005 Hi there..I am new to this wonderful forum. My 81 yr old mom is dying...hospice thinks about 2 more weeks. My dad died 18 months ago...Hospice thought about 2 weeks left for him, but he checked out after 48 hrs. All TOO fast...ALL TOO SUDDEN. I have lost my husband, best girlfriend, father and soon my mom....all in the last 5 years. I am exhausted. I have an older out-of-town brother who is no help, and my sister is disabled, so I have been the emotional rock of the family...as well as power of atty and all that goes with it. Thankfully we have help for mom at her home...she wants to stay there...and 24 hr care is now with her plus Hospice nurse visits everyday. So for all of that...I am grateful. My problem is I am feeling fear this time...more so than with my dad's death. And I want to just run away....sometimes. I try to get over to see her every other day or so...but selfishly, I am so tired and emotional, I can't do it EVERY day. I call in at least 4-5 times a day, and talk to her if she is lucid...and to check on the aids to see what they might need...but I'm feeling overwhelmed. I have Epstien Barr, chronic fatigue, which flares up upon alot of stress...so I am TRYING this time to honor my own health by NOT being there every night after I work. Does anyone else out there struggle with guilt and pre-emptive grief? I am lucky that my folks were the BEST parents...and we all have nothing unsaid....unconditional love is really what we are about. But the thought of having NO parents now scares me....................and it scares me each time I see her a bit thinner and worse....any advise would be sooo appreciated. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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