Who Am I?

[MartyT]

Not only is it necessary to readjust the picture of your spouse, but it might also be necessary to readjust the picture of yourself. Through your loss, you have changed. As the young widow and Life Coach Ellen Gerst discovered, you may be carrying an old picture of yourself in your consciousness. She suggests that the feedback you receive from dates may allow you to recognize your "new picture of self."

Read more on Ellen Gerst's blog post, "Who Am I?" on Finding Love after Loss, at http://finding-love-...s.blogspot.com/

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

That is not just about spouses it is when you are very close to your parents too... My parents did everything for me and when they both died I had to discover the world for myself... It was hard at first but I am getting better with it everyday, I did not make decisions for myself until my parents died and I had to become a grown up for the first time... I started living with my sister and her husband and I am discovering that I am a responsible mature adult that my parents would be proud of I hope... Shelley

[MartyT]

You're absolutely right, Shelley! I'm so pleased to know that you're keeping an eye on this particular forum, and recognizing how it may apply to you and your circumstances

[niamh]

I agree too Shelley and your parents are very proud of you. I find now that I do the things for my Mom like my Dad did and I like to think he is so proud of me and the little things I do for Mom now.

A few weeks back 2 plugs broke and my Dad would always have fixed them & I felt so angry that there was nobody now at home to do this or show me. I decided to try it and I managed to replace the plug, including the fuse ......something so small but it was my Dad's job, I never knew how to do it. I guess maybe he was with me helping me coz I did manage to do it without blowing everything up and getting electrocuted

[Daughter2010]

I can relate to this as well. In a way I am glad my brothers and I have stepped up to fill some of the duties and roles in the house Dad used to perform. Most important of all, taking care of mom. Losing a loved one also means embarking on a journey of self discovery to understand who have we become. For me, I can feel the void my dad left in us as a family, I guess I always will. But I have also realized that little by little we have found the way to keep going without everything fall into pieces. I am sure that would make him proud.

Our parents would sure be proud of us, we need to keep going for them. :-)

-L