Feelings Of Abandonment

[Kansas]

I have been struggling with the difference in how my brother and I are handling the death of our mother. Our mother was 91 when she died; my brother is 66 and I am 58. Our father died 45 years ago and mom never remarried.

As the child who took care of Mom's finances and was also her medical power of attorney and who lived in the same town as our mother, I have had many more details to attend to than my brother. He doesn't quite "get" that. He lives in another state almost a thousand miles away; he just recently moved there after he re-married shortly after Mom died. I am an active griever and he is not. All of this has been bothering me and a few days ago I had a revelation.

I think the reason that I feel the way I do is because his moving away is bringing back feelings of abandonment after our father died. My brother did the same thing then. Instead of sticking around to help our mother - who was

a widowed farm wife - he distanced himself. I was 13 at the time and I remember many hard times during that period. And now I think those feelings are returning after the death of Mom because my brother distanced himself again.

Now that I can put a reason to why I've felt this way how do I deal with it and move on?

[MartyT]

Hi Kansas,

You might find this article helpful: When Grieving An Abandonment ♥