Lonliness During The Day.

[Jennalee]

I feel both blessed and cursed. Blessed because I ran a profitable business from my home with my husband's help, even though he worked a prestigious job outside the home, and cursed because now that he's gone it means I'm so terribly overwhelmed and alone. Ajay did all the technical work for the business, and I did the easier stuff. I of course have the business temporarily shut down. Part of me is dying to work outside the home just to get out and be around people, but the honest truth is that I can make more in one day working on the business than I could in one week at an outside job. I kind of don't want to continue the business without Ajay, but part of me feels like it would really honor him. It was our business that we created together, and now that Ajay's gone it feels so empty. I know my loss is much to recent to make any big decisions regarding the business. I just wish he could come back for just a few hours even and tell me what he wants me to do with it.

I hate being so alone during the day. I've been alone during the day for two years now, but I could always call Ajay at work and he always came home for lunch. Right now the house is just so incredibly empty. I even went knocking on the neighbors doors that I knew this morning to see if anyone was home. No one was. I guess everyone else has something going on during the day. I wish I did. I miss him and want him home!!! Gosh I wish I could stop crying! I can't believe I even have any tears left at all!

[kayc]

Jennalee,

Is there some way you can continue running the business and hire the technical stuff done? If it's as profitable as you say, perhaps some could be spent for that. Plus there are all those tax deductions you can take from having your own business, and also deductions for running it from home. I think it'd be a great way of honoring him!

[Jennalee]

I have been in contact with a guy who is brilliant in IT. I have everything temporarily shut down right now but he told me to just contact him when I'm ready. I'm sure I will continue the business on, I think I just need some time. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Either way it's just nice to know I have someone available to help me. Ajay would be super proud.

[Korina]

I completely agree - Ajay would be and will be very proud of you. Whatever path you decide to take, he will be cheering you on. That is how I feel about Scott.

Korina

[kayc]

Work was my lifesaver when George died. It occupied my time and attention. It was when I was off that it was the worst. I hope you can keep it going, for your sake as well.