lonely4barb Posted September 13, 2010 Report Share Posted September 13, 2010 Hello to all - September 18th will mark nine months since my precious Barb went to the Lord. Her departure was sudden and unexpected. Barb had been sick for over a month with lupus. Her kidneys gradually shut down along with other complications. She was my soul mate, the one that God chose to walk by my side for a total of almost 17 years, three of those in courtship, almost 14 of them in marriage. Our backgrounds were mirror images. I was an only child, and Barb was too except that a brother had been stillborn a year or so before Barb came from heaven to earth in 1944. We once agreed that we were joined at the heart. So you can imagine the pain I felt the night she slipped from me, and journeyed her way to be with our Lord. Most of my heart was ripped from my very being. I don't recall a day without tears since she went home. But, I know that one day, I will be with her again. She was so loving, caring and unselfish, giving of herself to others. She would take samples of her cooking and baking to our neighbor and anyone who happened by. We were brought together by a loving God late in life, neither of us having ever been married before. God was in it from day one. When I wanted to move to her town to be with her, there was only one apartment left in government housing in her small town. God saved it for me to move to be in her town with her! I know heaven has been a much brighter place since my Barb arrived there. Yet my sadness continues, only not as severe. The early days of grief shock, I hardly remember except for that first time going in a store. I was shaking from weeping under my breath, and would break down when I got back to the car. God has carried me a long way since she departed, but I can tell I have a way to go. The days are still so empty, the whole world seems empty and deserted without her. I went through a grief class back in the winter, and it did help, but nothing ever totally helps except God and time. Loneliness is my partner now, and I struggle through each day, crying two, three times or more a day, but slowly healing. Thanks to all who read my first post here. I look forward to meeting you and together, we will share the weight of one another's grief and with God, make it out of the other side of this lonely old valley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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