Cheryl Posted September 21, 2010 Report Share Posted September 21, 2010 I'm trying to create a new life since my husband died one year ago in an accident. I am now finding that the grief filled days of pain are less and I am grateful for the short breaks. I am finding it hard to get enthusiastic about all the changes I now face. It was almost easier to be miserable all the time. Instead of waking up crying, I just lie there wondering what I'm supposed to do to feel better. I have joined a women's bible study called "Trusting God when Life Hurts". I meet a friend for dinner before hand which gets me both the social and the inspirational evening combined. I started attending a new church, where my husbands memories can't creep in and no one looks at me with sad eyes. I still attend a grief support group with my kids where I'm able to talk and share, unlike the previous year of just sobbing. I'm doing all the right things but I'm not happy yet. I get so depressed because I am still so unhappy. Still so lonely and still so confused about who I am and where I fit in. I feel like I'm starting all over again. Like a teen just going off to college, but I don't have a mom and dad to lean on. I feel all alone. I hate every step that I'm having to take and mad that I have to take them. Yet I know in my heart that it has to start somewhere. I'll nvever be happy again if I don't throw myself into new experiences and meet new people. IT JUST REALLY SUCKS!!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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