mfh Posted January 29, 2011 Report Share Posted January 29, 2011 Yesterday marked 10 months since the loss of my husband. This coming Sunday would have been his birthday. Five days after his birthday, I had to hospitalize him...a stay that was too long or totally wrong...and if I could do it over...would have lasted 1 week instead of 7 or never happened at all. I brought him home and five days later, with the help of Hospice, he died in my arms.... So Sunday, his birthday, feels like the beginning of a series of events that took him to the end of his life...like a long long anniversary...instead of a one day one-year anniversary on March 27, it feels like Sunday is day 1 of a two month package...it feels overwhelming. I know I am not being really clear here but that hospital stay was horrible...I watched him deteriorate so fast and he felt tortured and I did not know I should have gotten him out of there as the MDs kept telling me that they felt they could help. They said that until the day before one brilliant and caring fill in MD finally said to me-"Call Hospice and take him home". No one previous to this fill in MD told me. I know in hind sight I should have brought him home a week after he was there...or he should never have been there at all. I thought they could level his meds out so he could walk again. I guess I am just rambling as I anticipate reliving all of this. I have a good friend who asked me if she could bring pizza and wine and spend this Sunday evening on his birthday looking at photos I have sorted out. That is a friend...I am lucky I have supportive folks in my life. But the next two months feel huge to me...mfh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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