New Here And Completely Lost..

[Country Sunshine]

I lost my beloved husband of 38 years on Jan. 31. It seemed so strange.... so surreal.. On the 19th, we were getting ready to go for haircuts, and he tripped and broke his hip... surgery went well, and the off to rehab where in just two day, he had a heart attack, suffered from pnueumonia.. and then went into renal failure.. so back to the hospital.. and he died on the 31st...

I keep thinking this is all just a horrible nightmare and when I wake up, he will be right here with me.... but when I wake up.. I wander around it seems just waiting for him to appear...

Of course he doesn't, and that is when I start howling like some kind of mad woman... then in sheer terror, I start of call for the only help I know will never abandon me... and so I call the name of Jesus over and over again... and soon I begin to feel the warm calm as if being wrapped in a warm blanket of absolute love...

But then just when I least expect it, I cry again... it can be at the store, in the car, at home, in bed, or even in church..

I feel so helpless so much of the time... but thank God... I have the Lord to lean on... and truly if it were not for the Lord... I couldn't go on.

I hope that in some small way, I can help someone here to deal with their grief and we walk this path together..

Thanks for listening to me tonight.

Blessings,

Carolyn

[Dimcl]

Oh, Carolyn, my heart goes out to you. My husband, Glenn died in hospital, a week after his surgery and it was totally unexpected, so I know something of what you're going through. My Glenn died 4 1/2 months ago and it has only been in the last couple of weeks that I've begun to accept that the noises the house makes when the furnace comes on, etc., isn't Glenn moving around or walking to the kitchen to make a coffee or whatever. Mind you, I still sometimes find it difficult to believe that it happened at all. I find myself looking at a picture of Glenn and shaking my head in disbelief that I don't have the flesh and blood Glenn with me.

I don't have your religious faith, but I think all of us here would say that we can go on, faith or not. Some of us just take longer than others, but we DO go on whether we like it or not.

You're very early into this loathsome experience, but you've come to the right place. Please tell us about your husband and your life together. Sharing our loved ones' lives and stories always seems to help.

Hugs.

Di

[kayc]

Carolyn,

I'm so sorry you lost your husband...it is such a shock when it happens like this. I'm glad you have your faith, that will be of immeasurable help to you. This grief journey is quite a process with it's ups and downs and phases...you have found a good site to go through it with you.

[Country Sunshine]

Thank you both. Today so far is a really good day. I came home from church last night to find two messages on my voice mail, and from two very precious people. My step daughter in law and my neice. So, I called them and had a nice phone visit with each of them. They both want for me to sell and move closer to them... If I do that, it would be my neice in Kansas that I would go to... My DIL lives in Florida and after living there for 27 years, I found that more than enough for one lifetime for me. But I can visit.

Our church service last night was absolutely wonderful..... and actually got me to thinking of where I am going and what I am doing with the remainder of my life here in this world. Today, I am off to a ladies prayer meeting... all of whom have been widowed.... So, I know they will be a lot of help for me as maybe I can be for them.

I so appreciate the warm welcome and I pray that I can offer something of value to this group.

Blessings,

Carolyn

[sunshine]

I am so sorry for your loss!! That really is a shocking outcome from a fall. I'm sure no one saw that coming. I'm pretty new here also. I don't always know what to say. I'm glad you have your faith and your church ladies to share with. As you lost your best friend I too have lost my best friend. You your husband and I my Mom. We may both be feeling alittle different but we are still grieving just the same! Nobody understands what we feel! It is our loss, our loved one, and no one can tell you the right or wrong way to grieve. Sharing does help!!! I will pray for you that the Lord will give you strength!! God Bless!!!