Losing My Mind

[Babypod]

I am new here so I hope I don't offend anyone - I really feel like I am losing my mind. We lost my Grandma on April 11th of this year. My Grandma raised me so she was more like my mom. She was my best friend - my biggest supporter - the only person I have ever felt would love me no matter what.

Well - since she died strange things are happening and I feel like I am going crazy. It started two days after she died - I was lying in bed and smelled a the fake lemon smell that was the cleaner she always used to clean her house. I thought it was strange for I had none of that cleaner in my home - and I switched over to organic/non scented cleaners years ago - yet there it was - strong as day - the smell of summer citrus Mr. Clean.

From there things are getting worse - the front door opening and no one opened it. Several times someone has knocked on my front door yet when we go to the door there is no one there (my children are hearing it too). My heat being turned off and no one turned it off. This morning I was woken up by someone blowing in my face - twice -yet there was no one in bed with me. And to top it all off my cat stood at the top of the steps this morning - hissing and growling at nothing - there was nothing down there for him to hiss and growl at.

I feel like I am losing it. Part of me keeps wondering if it is my children playing a cruel joke on me (they range in age from 4 to 10 years old) - but they all claim they are not doing these things. And with the knocking on the door they were all next to me and heard it too. I feel like I need to go to a psychologist and be put on medications.

I miss my Grandma with all my heart but I feel like I am losing my mind. . .

[elb]

I understand that the things that have been happening are happening are making you feel uneasy. I am not a big believer in the paranormal or ghosts or any of those things but after my brother died similar strange things began happening and lasted for about a month then stopped. In my case it was lights turning on and off as members of my nuclear family entered rooms, or the flood light when we walked in the front door. Trust me we were and are overcome with grief and sadness but instead of making me feel crazy those things made me feel like my brother was with us and refused to leave just because something bad happened. I know you cannot just change your feelings or snap your perspective in a different direction but after reading your story I think it is possible that your grandmother, caretaker, mother-figure, best friend, is trying to find a way to be close to you just like you want to be to her. I have no idea, but is it possible that this is a miracle rather than a curse? (I also hope I don't offend you!)

[Babypod]

You do not offend me. I want to believe it is Grandma - really want to believe it is my Grandma. She always said she felt my Grandfather around her all the time. I think it is that most of my family thinks I am crazy - at least anyone I have told this to. I am glad I am not the only one this has happened to - makes me feel not quite so crazy. I even had someone tell me that somehow my mind was making the knocking sounds that we all heard. My Grandma always told me we had a special bond - I am hoping that is why I am seeing these things and hoping somehow it is her.

Thank you for responding . . .

[MartyT]

Dear One, I'm so sorry to learn of the death of your precious Grandma, and I can assure you that you are NOT losing your mind. The experiences you describe are what many would consider signs, or signals, or after-death communications from your grandmother. This very topic has been discussed on our site many times, and I'd like to point you to some articles that I hope will put your mind at ease:

After Death Communication

After Death Communication: A List of Resources

Doug Koktavy receives an ADC message from mom

Signs from the other side? Believe

Ladybug delivers after death communication

[Babypod]

Thank you Marty. Today has been a hard die. My Aunt Mary died when she was 12 years old of Cancer. There was a purple dress that belonged to her - one of the only things my Grandmother had of my Aunt Mary for when she was at the funeral my other Aunt went into the house and emptied all of my Aunt's stuff out and tossed it before my Grandmother could get home. When Grandma died I so tried to find that purple dress. My Grandma told me my entire life that she wanted to be buried with her bible and Aunt Mary's purple dress. I looked for it - but I am "only" and Grandchild so I didn't feel right going through everything - one of my Aunt's was there and didn't want anyone going through her stuff. It broke my heart to see my Grandma buried without the purple dress. Today we found the dress. I am just so sick. I feel like I let Grandma down. She was so poor and had nothing but her family her entire life. She did everything for us. As they were planning her funeral my Uncle just kept saying "cheap". I so wanted to make sure her dress was with her - and it wasn't. I just feel so sick. I know I need to suck it up and go downstairs and take care of my four kids - But I am just so broken right now - that dress should be with my Grandma. Sorry - I am just so sad and sick right now . . .

[MartyT]

Dear One, I am so very sorry about the purple dress

If I were you, I would think very long and hard about how I could construct some sort of ritual involving that purple dress, so that you could "send" it to your grandmother in some symbolic way. That could be by burning it and letting the smoke from the fire take it to the heavens, or by burying it in the ground where it would become part of the same earth we all return to eventually ~ or you could place it in a shadow box or treasure box and keep it as one of the most special mementos to remind you of her ~ you get the idea. Find some way of getting that purple dress "buried" symbolically so your grandmother can "have" it with her wherever she is. I'm sure our other members can think of many other ideas ~ just don't let this be the end of it, and don't allow your sadness and regret to overcome you. Find a reason why that dress was not found until today, find some meaning in it, and find a way to honor your grandmother with it!