Mother's Day

[mfh]

Bill was always very sensitive to the feelings I had about never being a mother. He was also gently playful about Mother's Day and every year he would tie a Mother's day card to our dog's collar and send him into me. The card would be printed in child like type and be an invitation to dinner out somewhere special. How I miss those silly cards as Mother's Day rolls around. How I miss him and my mom and dad...we never really get past all that...that I know for sure. The silence is deafening.

I waited for you

All my life.

Finally we found each other

On a crowded planet

Where we had both felt so alone

For 24 years we loved and joyed

Sometimes struggled

Laughed and cried

And then you were gone

And now I wait again

For you

Hoping we will find each other

Somewhere out there

In a place I cannot understand

Are you there

Waiting for me?

I must believe it is true.

[pinkpony]

this will be my 1st mothers day in 25yrs without the love of my life & no children at home(they all live out of state). my dh always did something special for me & I'm so going to miss that. I always knew the kids would eventually grow up & move away, but I never expected @ 44yrs old to not have my dh/bf celebrating this day with me.

[kayc]

Yes we miss them so very much, the special things they did for us. George was not the father of my children but he was a wonderful stepfather and our family blended so well. He was always there for my kids. George and his first wife divorced and she had her second husband adopt his kids without George's knowledge or permission...apparently all she needed to do was list it in the newspaper for two weeks beforehand...a newspaper he never saw. He searched and searched for his kids and it took him years to find them, by then they were grown. He was just getting close to his daughter when he died...the night before he passed away she told him for the first time "I love you, Dad". She had not called him that since she was a little girl. My daughter made him a Father's Day card (he died on Father's Day) and brought it to him in the hospital...I know how much it touched him, it was the one and only Father's Day card he had ever received from a child (I had given him one every year). I have it still. George always made sure I had a wonderful Mother's Day, even though I'm not his mother and not the mother of his kids...he honored all mothers and me especially since I was the love of his life. A lot of men won't do that. I have memories of some special Mother's Days with him, the things he did...

I, too, know what it is like to be childless when you want to have a child. I went through years of infertility in my childbearing years, going to specialists, trying this and trying that. Every Mother's Day at church it was the same thing, they'd have all the mothers stand and they'd honor them...and there I'd sit, about the only woman in the sanctuary sitting...and it would hurt so bad. I endured teasing, and watched as new brides suddenly announced their impending pregnancies, as if it was effortless, so easy for them. I watched as 15 year old girls had babies, with no clue about how to be a mother, thinking about their next party or what color to do their nails. But I remained childless. I finally got pregnant, only to lose it...three times. FINALLY I had two children, and am so glad for that gift, but I will never forget those childless years in which people asked me stupid things like, "Don't you LIKE children???"

I have three older sisters that do not have children, all for different reasons...one lost her children (one to death, one to adoption when she became quadriplegic). Another cannot have children for medical reasons. Another cannot because her husband did not want them. They've all handled it differently...one became a "Mother" to her dogs, and her and her husband celebrated Mother's Day and Father's Day accordingly. Another became a second "Mother" to her niece and nephew that live nearby. The other one learned to let go of the past and relegate her children to a memory she carries with her.

To all those who have had a child and lost them, I wish you a Happy Mother's Day also...I hope you can treasure your warm memories and transcend the eternal pain to be able to smile at the thought of them, knowing they are in God's arms and being kept safe for your reunion.