Babypod Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 At 10:35 this morning it will have been one month since I lost my beautiful Grandma. I can still hear my cousins' wife on the phone, "You need to get over her right away." Me - "Is she gone?" Chealsea - "Yes". I feel so guilty - why didn't I get up earlier and go over there. I was getting the kids ready to go when she called - I just slept in that morning - WHY!?!? Why didn't I visit her more. Why didn't I put the older two on the bus then just put the twins in the van - pj's and all - and have coffee with her every morning. She only lived 10 miles away - why didn't I do it? I didn't want to impose - even though I know it never would have been an imposition for my Grandma - she wouldn't have cared. The twins could have destroyed her house and she wouldn't have cared - all she ever wanted was our time. I miss her so much it hurts. I can't breathe. I want to throw up. I don't want to believe she is gone. I love you Grnamda - I am so sorry. All the loneliness and pain - I wish I could take it away! I would do anything to get one minute back with you. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nicholas Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Guilt is a normal reaction and part of the grieving process, but essentially a negative and pointless emotion. It can't - and doesn't - change anything, so please don't feel guilty, you know your Grandma loved you and you loved her and that is all that matters. Take care. Nicholas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaRosa Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Babypod, I'm so sorry. I think we all go through this guilt part of the process. I beat myself up for not going to visit my mom during my lunch breaks -- I'm only 10 minutes away from my parents' house and I hate my job, so why didn't I go over there and eat lunch with her? She would have loved the company. I told myself I didn't want to impose and bother her if she was sleeping (which she usually was), but I can't let it go now. I feel like a "bad" daughter for not going to see her more -- even though I went every day after work! It's irrational, but we all do irrational things when we're grieving. Erin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. B Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Hi, My situation was a little different. My mom and dad just live a few blocks away and walk to my house every day . Even in the winter, Rick use to find it an inconvience when they stopped in or when his parents stopped in. I loved it. I told him to enjoy it because one day they would not be here and then he would regret it. Little did I know that i would be Rick leaving us and our parents missing him. Mrs.B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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