Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Missing My Mom With The Changing Season

Recommended Posts

I have posted here before but kind of lost my way I guess. I was doing so well but with the coming of fall I feel as though my grief is back FULL FORCE. In my previous post I was upset that I never "felt" my Mom. Her promises of giving me a sign or knowing she was around never came. About 3 weeks ago I was riding in the car with my family after my 9 year olds football game. I was happy, smiling, laughing it was a good day. I looked out the window and out of nowhere I actually felt her. Her sweet fact just popped into my head and I felt a warmth inside. Hard to describe but it literally took my breathe away. It left me in tears. Although not 100% I have to hold on to the possibility that maybe she was reaching out in some way. I loved the feeling of her. I know our minds play tricks but she was not in my mind at the moment, she just popped in there. With fall here I have a sense of loss that I did not feel until now. I miss her like never before. I wish I could talk to her about work, my husband, the funny things my kids are doing. I understand (somewhat) the grieving process. I just don't know why it went from intense to calm, now it is intense again followed by such a deep sense of loss and lonliness. Does anyone else feel so completely different? I feel inadequate at work, as a mother, a wife? I try to fight it. I know how it broke my Moms heart to see me or my brothers cry. I try to be strong but she is so missed right now by so many. I hope I can feel better soon and have more control over myself. Closing my office door at work and crying cannot go on forever. Miss you Mom.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...


Again - I totally understand. There was a couple of months there where I was OK - didn't cry everyday anymore - then a few weeks ago it hit hard. I feel like I am walk around in this fog of sadness. I had to quit my job - just couldn't do it anymore (was going to quit anyway because we moved out of state - but I had to quit sooner than I thought).

As far as the sign - believe it was her. I personally believe it was her. I have had a few signs off and on - most of my family has not - or at least they don't admit to having them. Accept the signs you are given - the warmth and love that you felt. It is easy to doubt them - I know I have in the past as well - but don't accept it for what it is.

I know for me fall and the holidays will be hard. My Grandmother lived for holidays - when all the family would come and visit - she would make a feast for us all - she lived for this time of year. She thought fall was beautiful, and she even thought winter was beautiful (but she didn't like the cold anymore) - I know for me I think this is one of the reasons this is getting harder.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Susan. I felt a total connection to your post. I am a mother also, and my grief often sneaks up on me, in the morning and evenings. I lost my father a month ago, to cancer. It was a difficult journey, and there are so many other issues, that were a part of his dying experiance. I am very enthralled by your understanding of a "sign" I think, I know what you mean, although, I must admit, that my faith is currently clouded by my anxiety, sadness, and anger.

I am so sorry for your loss, and I wish I had more to add, other than, I am right there with you.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you everyone for your replies. It is nice to come to this place and see I am not alone in this. I have wonderful family and friends but unless you are going through this it is difficult to understand. I will continue to fight through my emotions. My Mom always tried to "work" her way through a sad time. I wish for peace for all of you. With the holidays coming I am sure we will meet again on this board. Take care everyone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...