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I simply can't handle another Christmas. I put our last dog to sleep in August, We lost the lease on our Main Store thatI worked atin July..The Kitty has stayed on & it's been Hell on Wheels . My vision went dead.in July.Cataracts in both eyes!I was driving a long ways to work...legally blind..trying to get my eyes fixed. No Insurance..of course, & unwilling to ask for help..although I had plenty of advice. I broke out in shingles on KAYC'S birthday..it was a major Upset...I just plain freaked out...October 6th

My brother was in town..& I was too blind to drive & meet my sister & him for dinner! It was night..a storm came in. I broke out in these nasty Ugly Shingles..itching like crazy..blisters across my back, armpit & breast. I was at work..not that far from where my brother was.I just knew I couldn't drive there at night & make it back home I had 2 Dr's appointments the next week,,another Eye Surgeon & the MD for the Shingle's.

Remind me never to get so upset again! The cataract cost $4,200. Cash.& there is one more to be done. In the mean time we opened the New Store & its a short drive...Thank You Heavenly Father. My Mom is paying for the 2nd operation..Pat's life Insurance policy paid for the 1st.I can drive again..well kinda sorta.I got on the freeway recently. Vision will be better when the next eye is fixed. I sold a bunch of furniture this month, too! Yay!!

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Dear Vickie,

I can relate to you about the health problems. I was Pauline's soul care giver for many years as she, and we battled MS. After I thought I was doing fine, but it was only an illusion. My body had gone though things I did not even know until it hit me all at once, just one thing after another. It was like a spring and summer lost, but some how I still found the strength for my friend Greg, who had been in a motorcycle accident in late May, and he was in bed all summer long. So with all my strength I would go up to his house to lift, up his spirits. His wife Donna was Pauline's best friend for close to 29 or so years, so no way could I leave him alone to suffer in anguish all day long.

You are a very brave person, to be able to pick up the pieces after the closing of the store and start again, and it sounds the things are moving more into the light of life again. Keep going, never give up, or give in.

God Bless


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Oh Vickie, I'm sorry you've gone through so much, it seems when it rains, it pours! (My bdy is Oct 7 so at least your D-Day wasn't the same.) I'm glad you're on the road to seeing better again! Bless your mom's heart. I'm glad to hear the new store is going well. I had the impression you were working for someone else, are you still? This having to struggle at this age is ridiculous! I haven't had an interview for two months and the jobs seem to have dropped off the horizon. The unempl. office sent me to a temp. outfit, which wouldn't work too well for me being as I commute so far, but I went anyway and haven't heard back from them, it's been five days. The anxiety is affecting my sleep...I can't. I just want to lay down and go to sleep and never wake up...except for my dog, I basically keep going for my dog. He is the world to me. I'd rather be homeless with my dog than live without him. It's awful to think these thoughts. It seems like everyone around me has a partner to weather the storms with, but me, I'm just on my own. My mom's mental state and dementia gets worse every day. We're going to try and get senior services involved to see if they can force her to get evaluated, she refuses to and won't cooperate with the least little thing. She gives all of her money away to ministries and won't save any back for heat and food and then calls us when she's cold or hungry, and it creates a hardship for us. Senior services informed us we're responsible for her care or we could be up against criminal charges, yet we have no control over her, no one will tell us anything (it breaks privacy laws) and she has a lot more disposable income than I do since I only work one day a week now. If I don't get a job soon, I will lose my home that I've lived in for 34 years. At this stage of my life, my home should be paid for and I should be able to afford to take a lower paying job, but that's not my situation. I almost wish it was all over and the dust would settle so I could start adjusting, but unfortunately I have this ugly process to go through this coming year.

Reading your story tells me that maybe there's hope...you've been through so much uncertainty, had to face fears and yet you're coming through it. Hopefully I will too.

Stay in touch!



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