This Hurts So Bad

[George T.]

Lost my wife on Dec 15, she was only 46. I have two teenage boys, 15 & 12 who took it hard but they seem to be coping ok.

I'm working from home which helps a lot as far as taking care of the kids and being there for them but also for me, between work

and house chores not much time left for thinking.

But when the kids go to sleep and I'm left by myself it hits like a freight train. I have experienced loss of family members before

(father, grandparents) but this is different, there's this huge void, intense pain for the loss and also regrets for plans postponed,

things I didn't do. She knew she was the love of my life but still I can't help thinking I could have done more for her, didn't

expect our time together to end so soon and I feel guilt.

I thank God for the kids, they give me purpose and strength. We remember her and hug and reassure each other that we'll pull through

if only because that's how she would have wanted it. Her passing has brought us closer than ever.

Thanks for letting me unload on you.

Wishing all in similar circumstances to find the strength to get through this difficult period in your lives.

[mik]

I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts terribly when you first go through this. I lost my partner December 6th. Sometimes it is all I can do to make it through the day. I wish there were something I could say that might help, but there is nothing. I like to think their spirit is here watching over us day by day. It helps me to cope. I don't know if that would help you to think that way. You have your children and that is a part of what you lost. You will always have that, a reminder, and a piece of that person. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim

[mfh]

You are right, George, this IS different. I am so sorry for your and your kids'loss. I know it is horrific. You are not alone and you came to the right place. The people in this group will reach out, support and understand. I lost my husband 21 months ago...it hurts and always will. Over time we learn to live with this pain and the waves of grief slow down. Just keep posting as you need to...we are here.

Mary

[kayc]

George,

I can't think of a loss that is more impacting than the loss of your spouse, I am so sorry to find you're going through this too. It is far reaching and the void is felt in every aspect of your life. I'm glad you have your boys. I am alone all of the time and sometimes I think I'm going to go stircrazy!

You have found a good site here, we all go through this journey together and it's been a tremendous blessing as we encourage each other. At least we know we aren't crazy and what we're experiencing is normal.

I hope you'll continue to come here, it really does help to let it out rather than bottle it up. This is the one place you can come to and feel heard and understood.