Still Missing My Beloved Cat

[MissingThem]

I lost my 14 year old cat to cancer and kidney disease on January 10, 2012. I still find it difficult to believe he is gone. I keep thinking that I see him out of the corner of my eye. I keep expecting to see him when I look for him at the places he used to frequent. But he's not there and I am left with this emptiness and pain. I still cry sometimes when it hits me and I'm angry too. Its just so unfair but I know he couldn't live forever and he hung in there as long as he could. He was such a wonderful, sweet cat.

My avatar is from when Jasper was 3 years old. We had just moved out to the southwest, and I had just lost my mom to ALS. She loved Jasper, She had me frame a picture of him that was hung so she could see it near her bed. When I came across this picture recently I was surprised at how healthy he looked, how beautiful. I had forgotten how pretty he was. Before his health issues began and it was harder at times for him to groom himself. The cat I had adopted him with used to groom him, too. It was so sweet when they used to groom each other. But I lost her to lung disease when they were 7 years old.

Jasper went through so much with me over the years. Moves, the loss of my mother, a new relationship and then marriage. I think it was hard for him to share me at first. The first three years my cats were used to having me all to themselves. They adjusted though. It was so sweet how Jasper used to shyly seek me out.

He was part feral and didn't want anything to do with anyone else but me. He did sometimes let my husband pet him but he was very bonded to me. He was such a constant presence in my life.

When I got home from work I would always check on him. If I got up in the night he would be right there with me when I was reading or on the computer. He was always open to cuddling with me and was always near me. It feels so lonely to not have him here. I miss him so much.

My husband ordered a little headstone for him that we put over his grave. I put some flowers on it, it looks nice. My heart aches for him when I see it....Mummy misses you Jasper!

Thanks for letting me share.

[kayc]

I am sorry you lost Jasper, he is indeed a beautiful cat and doesn't look ferral, but that's probably due to the loving care he received with you. I think it's nice that he has a headstone and flowers, it helps to do something to commemorate them, although they are never out of our hearts. I can tell how much you miss him as you speak of your memories.

(((hugs)))

Kay

[MissingThem]

Thank you, Kay, for your kind words. I do really miss him. Having the headstone to commemorate him is comforting....it's a physical reminder that he was here, even though he's gone.

[Ronald]

I think this is very bad news for all pet's lover,

i am very sorrowful to read your thread.

Sorry dear.