Miss Mia Did Not 'come Home' Last Week

[Guest Ritapick]

I realize it has been some time since you lost your cat and things may be back to "normal" now. But I needed to let you know how I've been searching for someone in this situation.

The reason is that I "lost" my dog this week. After my initial search, once I sat down and thought about it, I have no doubt that she left to die.

She is very old. I don't know how old since she was a stray, but at least 10 years old. She had a growth on her neck which had been growing for more than a year. It was inoperable because of its location. In the last month or so, she had been getting extremely skinny and she was beginning to cough here and there. I knew that her time was limited.

However, she still had her intellectual faculties & still loved getting in the car whenever we went anywhere. She was always there whenever she could tell I was going to the car.

Tuesday night she was home as we ate spaghetti. I really wasn't paying much attention to her, but did notice she wasn't eating much of the left-over or even trying to get on the table, as was her custom. Then, later, when I was taking the grandchildren back to their home, she was not there. That absolutely NEVER happens! I looked and looked, but could not find her. She never came home.

That night I put up a sign at the end of our dead end street which stayed for two days until it was torn down. But even before the first day ended, I KNEW she had left on purpose. I checked the shelters the next day before coming to that realization.

I remember a night or two before she left, I was holding her in my lap. She coughed slightly. My mind went to thinking how I hated for her to suffer as she deteriorated. I looked at her and she looked at me. I believe then was the time she said good-bye, but I didn't realize it then.

She NEVER leaves the house when we are home. The only time she leaves is when we are gone and even then it is only a house or two away. This is extremely out of the ordinary.

I looked and looked on the net for something about animals who leave to die but have been unable to find anything. I am going to check out the site mentioned in response to you.

The hardest part is not really being prepared. I thought I had at least another month or so with her. I didn't get to say good-bye. No one else really seems to understand, other than the grandchildren, but they are young - 6 & 9.

I do have another old dog here who also is likely not to live out the year. She has severe arthritis and breathing problems. I really believed she would die before Samantha. Now I have a struggle paying more attention to her because I don't want anyone to "profit" from the loss of Samantha. Yet I love her, too, even though I'm more prepared for her death. Once I get through this initial pain, hopefully I can make Satin's life easier than I have so her end is not too painful.

Anyway, thank you for telling your story. I was meant to see it.

[thrashej]

You know, I am sorry to say but I couldn't even read your post because these types of situations upset me so much. I am a huge cat lover and have taken care of so many strays....and have lost so many that did not come home. So forgive me, but I can't read your post (especially right now, lol) but want you to know I am sorry if you lost your kitty. I know that is so devastating. I used to feel like a freak because I got so upset over these things; people actually used to MAKE FUN of me for it!!! Now, I just feel like it is what makes ME ME!! The other day one of my "outside" kitties didn't come around like usual and I thought we had lost him. Just recent I lost another one that never came home. Sometimes it is better just to "not know". I have had it the other way around where they come home injured or very sick and then can't get them in a kitty carrier! That is horrible!

Anyway, my sympathies are with you. Take care!