missing him Posted June 9, 2012 Report Share Posted June 9, 2012 It has only been a month and 5 days since I lost the love of my life and all I do is cry. I cry on my hour commute to work, when I get to work, at my desk I fight back the tears, cry on the ride back home and I break down crying so hard when I get home. We were all we had. This hurts so much. This is the most difficult thing for me to go through and "try" to carry on. I just don't know how to go on. He was my life, heart and soul. Why are such wonderful people taken away from us? I don't know what to do anymore. All I want to do is cry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANC1117 Posted June 9, 2012 Report Share Posted June 9, 2012 Just let the tears flow. I can remember the same thing for me. I recall going to a get-together at a friends house and a guest I just met asked who there was my wife. I couldn't hold back the tears. My friend saw me crying and came over to comfort me, then my daughter.I just kept crying for what seemed like hours, although minutes (just as I am crying while I write this). It is OK and those who know you will be there to comfort you and understand. I recall a message I sent to a friend when I was feeling down and hurting bad. I was invited to go to lunch with a family member and felt exhausted from the emotions I was dealing with that morning. I text this friend and said how much of a challenge it was having to put on my "poker face" every time I went out. She could totally relate, having lost someone just previously, and said, "some will understand the sadness and some may not; don't worry about those that don't". Prayers and wishes - Anthony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missing him Posted June 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2012 It sure is a challenge trying to put a "mask" on. I love what your friend said. That is perfect. Thank you for the prayers. I need them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widower Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 It has only been a month and 5 days since I lost the love of my life and all I do is cry. I cry on my hour commute to work, when I get to work, at my desk I fight back the tears, cry on the ride back home and I break down crying so hard when I get home. We were all we had. This hurts so much. This is the most difficult thing for me to go through and "try" to carry on. I just don't know how to go on. He was my life, heart and soul. Why are such wonderful people taken away from us? I don't know what to do anymore. All I want to do is cry... I'm so sorry. Certainly nothing wrong with crying, even so much. It's hard but you have to let it out. That said, if it is nearly constant and keeps staying that way, you might want to consider grief counseling (actually I suggest that anyway). You could try it with a group or 1 on 1. Also try as much as possible to lean on family/friends, and stay as active/busy as you can stand (granted this comes from someone who was a near hermit for months!). Best to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lina Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 I agree, just let the tears out....when it is time you will stop needing to cry as often, but I suspect the tears will continue to come for a while. I know I still cry regularly and I have decided to just accept it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widower Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 It sure is a challenge trying to put a "mask" on. Oh I HATE the "mask." One of many "rules" society forces us to play. When people say "how are you" I want to actually tell them but instead downshift into "not bad" or the more honest "hanging in there." I never say "fine" or "good" any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widower Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 I agree, just let the tears out....when it is time you will stop needing to cry as often, but I suspect the tears will continue to come for a while. I know I still cry regularly and I have decided to just accept it. Hell it's been nearly a year and I still cry almost every day. And I'm not a "cryer." But again it's diff for everyone and your mileage may vary... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missing him Posted June 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Widower - I hate the "mask" too. When asked, i say "trying to hang in there". I don't know why people as that question, it is obvious that I'm not doing good. Oh I HATE the "mask." One of many "rules" society forces us to play. When people say "how are you" I want to actually tell them but instead downshift into "not bad" or the more honest "hanging in there." I never say "fine" or "good" any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missing him Posted June 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 I actually had my 1st session with a new grief counselor today. I liked her. I'm so emotionaly tired. I've been taking care of my love for so long and now trying to deal with the emotional rollercoaster of him being gone. I have no energy to do anything except "the have-to's"... I'm so sorry. Certainly nothing wrong with crying, even so much. It's hard but you have to let it out. That said, if it is nearly constant and keeps staying that way, you might want to consider grief counseling (actually I suggest that anyway). You could try it with a group or 1 on 1. Also try as much as possible to lean on family/friends, and stay as active/busy as you can stand (granted this comes from someone who was a near hermit for months!). Best to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lina Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 I actually had my 1st session with a new grief counselor today. I liked her. I'm so emotionaly tired. I've been taking care of my love for so long and now trying to deal with the emotional rollercoaster of him being gone. I have no energy to do anything except "the have-to's"... I honestly think it is ok to give yourself permission to only do what HAS to be done...the rest will wait. Its not like the laundry is going to walk off...at least that is what I tell myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANC1117 Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 I hate doing the laundry, and keeping the house looking like Celene kept it... I feel so hopeless at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missing him Posted June 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 I just don't see myself ever being normal again. I woke up crying in bed. I miss him so much!!! He should still be with me. I'm devastated. I want to be in his arms so badly and hear his cute laugh & his boyish ways I adored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widower Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Widower - I hate the "mask" too. When asked, i say "trying to hang in there". I don't know why people as that question, it is obvious that I'm not doing good. I have wondered the same thing, but then I realized I shouldn't get caught up in the words but rather their intent, ie to see how I am holding up. It's better than never asking at all (I have had that too). I actually had my 1st session with a new grief counselor today. I liked her. I'm so emotionaly tired. I've been taking care of my love for so long and now trying to deal with the emotional rollercoaster of him being gone. I have no energy to do anything except "the have-to's"... Glad you're on that. You need to give it time....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 The "have tos" is all you have to do...try to protect yourself from getting overwhelmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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