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It Feels Like A Life Time Ago

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It feels like a life time ago since I have lost my Dragon to cancer. Yet everyday I am still so sad and still continue to cry. I have been dating and have tried to move forward with my life but still the pain is so intense. I am also afraid that I will lose my memeory of him...even though I cry all the time still it is getting harder to remember specifics. I was grateful when I was able to pull up some old emails..(still dont' know how I manged to) I have been reading them daily..perhaps that is what is bringing thi s new onslaught of sadness and tears. I wish that I could just have one more day with him..to say all the things I wish I could have said while he was here...I miss him so...I dont know if I will ever get past this enough to live a life free of heart ach...


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Dear Kimberly

I just woke up (England so we are hours ahead of you) to yet another day without Pete. I so know how you feel. I feel lost and bereft, lack any motivation to do anything, look forward to an empty and pointless future. I can't seem to summon up a proper memory of him. He seems neve to have existed despite all the photos etc. I just don't feel him close and that is all I long for. This posting isn't going to make you feel any better but I suppose you and I are only a short way along this hard road and maybe some day we will find things easier to bear. We have had love and we must cling to that.


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I went on line a while back to view his email account...kind of like touching him,you know? Everything was gone. I didn't know they'd wipe everything out if you didn't use it. It felt so sad. Why can't they just leave things alone?

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