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Loved One Pushing Me Away After Mothers Death

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Hi everyone, my fiance's mother died around 3 weeks ago. The first week afterwards was alright, she leaned on me for support and I gladly provided it, however, the past couple weeks she has been treating me like she owns me. Telling me that if I love her I will buy her things, she was not always like this, and has been saying i'm not loving her enough. I am just wondering the best way to deal with this if it is part of her grieving process to treat people they love this way. Im scared to fall out of love with her, and do not want to leave after all we have gone through. Please help? I'm really worried...

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I have not heard of someone behaving like that as a result of bereavement. Three weeks in nothing in the grand scheme of time for grieving. It is going to hit her for a very long time. In that time, she may not seem herself, she may pull back, she may talk obsessively, she may withdraw into herself. Not everyone responds the same to grief. I would just continue to be there for her as she will let you. I would not give in to unrealistic demands or buy things selfishly demanded, but that's just me. I would hold true to my values even while being there for her.

Why do you say you're scared to fall out of love with her? I wouldn't think you'd be having thoughts like that so soon.

It could be she feels a need for a lot of reassurance from you right now. She just lost the person she thought would always be there for her.

Has she considered a grief counselor?

Good luck, I hope it gets better, but look for it to be a long while...

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Hi njames. I am really sorry that your fiance treat you this way and that you became one more.

OK it is not strange that she became ovearattached to you, but this with the buying things is really strange.

Could you explain it in more details cause I don't get it.

As for the rest of her behavior just be prepared for whatever. I don't know what grief is and I only started to learn more only after my ex lost his mother. What I learnt is that everyone grieves in a different way.

But as already stated, the 3 weeks is just the initial state.

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