Is This Normal!?

[judy ramella]

I am wondering if it's normal to have a great stretch of time, like a few weeks or a month, and then you wake up one morning and you feel the pain all over again? It always seems to lift as the day goes on, but it can take me a few days to get to the point where the tears stop. Also, what do you do on the "hard" days when you don't want to eat, and all you can do it cry, and you have an dinner party to host, or are volunteering for your child's class party, or have a dinner date? Do you force yourself to do these thing, which I have been doing since Jan of this year. It started with very, very painful days, and then I would have a good day, and then the stretch began to get bigger and longer, and I really thought i was moving into acceptance, but then this week happened.

Judy

[kayc]

I don't think I put myself in charge of more than I absolutely needed to in the first year or two, I kind of protected myself and made my life about ME, I just had to deal with work, which was enough.

I don't think it's uncommon at all to go along thinking everything is fine and then whamo! You get hit. Grief bursts can happen at any time and we just have to get through them and understand that this is part of grief. They come and go. They do seem to lessen in frequency as we go along, but it took me a good long while for even that to happen.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, but on the other hand, it's important to allow ourselves to grieve.