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Sad And Sober

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I just found this group and I'm hoping it will help me. My Dad passed away from cardiac arrest on September 16. He had no health problems at the age of 81. My parents live in the country on 10 acres of land...Dad took care of all of the outside yard and fields and was so proud of the house. They moved into this home when I was 5, I'm now 52. Mom and Dad had no wills, so I flew from Colorado to Indiana and helped Mom pick out burial plots, casket, everything. Mom has had health issues in the last 5 years, but she has handled this well. I have a brother 6 years older, but he disowned the family 14 years ago, I stayed with Mom for about a month, then had to come home. But not before she had me help her write a will.

I am a recovering alcoholic with 7 years 11 months of sobriety. In December 2012 I lost a friend of 27 years. Then in September 2013, I lost another friend of 32 years. November 2013 I lost my favorite aunt. Now Dad. I was always Daddy's girl. I mention my sobriety because when I was drinking, that covered all of my feelings. So grieving, and FEELING is sort of new to me. LOL.

Anyway, I just feel,so lost. Worries about Mom so far away, and still in shock that Dad's gone. Hoping this group helps.

I had no idea how HARD this would be!

I MISS YOU, DAD! I will always be your Sugarbabe.

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Hi Friend,

You came to the right place. Here, you can freely share your feelings and you will be understood and helped.

When we get older, it's inevitable that some of our friends and loved ones gradually leave us for life. I lost my dad when I was very small so I did not know grief then. I always prided myself to have all 11 siblings alive until May of 2006 when my older brother, 56 yo, and the closest to me died in a vehicular accident. I was away on graduate school that I was not even able to communicate with him for a long time before the incident. The pain was so great that til now there are moments when I feel the pain of losing him. Then in 2007, my mother followed at the age of 77. They were the "buddies" in the family since my dad died. My mom must have missed him so much that triggered her own sickness. She was diagnosed to be with stage 4 cancer after her 77th birthday and only months after my brother died. Honestly, I grieved more for my brother because with my mom, we were more prepared to meet her departure because we were able to care for her in the hospital. Later, 3 of my other brothers had a stroke one after another so we were always faced with the possibility of another death in the family. Last 2011, another brother close to me succumbed to death after a stroke. All of us siblings gathered together feeling numb and trying to accept the reality that one day we all will have to face the end of the journey.

Life is a mystery; and death may either build us up or break us down. We need one another to go through this grief journey together. My deepest condolences to your loss.


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I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my mom Aug. 21 (my dad passed nearly 33 years ago). It's like part of our heritage, something we've always known, is gone. It's a very hard adjustment. I hope you'll read some of the other posts on this site, you'll realize you are not alone in your feelings. I'm sorry your brother is estranged, I hope that changes. You may never see eye to eye, but it'd help if he'd at least show concern for your mom out of respect for her raising him.

I hope she had a notary witness the signing of her will. If not, she can take it to one and re-sign it and have it notarized. A copy should be placed with your or her attorney.

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