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I Am Literally Eating My Feelings.


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I feel like I am stuffing my face, But I almost feel like I am forcing myself to do it whether or not I want to.

What do I do? My mom thinks I am trying to physically fill the void but this isnt healthy and its really killing my already small amount of self esteem.

Im going to start going to grief therapy so maybe thatll help but this will cause health problems if I dont get ahold of it. I almost feel like I have an eating disorder because I cannot stop or control myself.

I know ive posted about this before but Lord, I need help

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I wish you could go on the Prism weight loss plan because they address and deal with the underlying issues of WHY we eat like we do! It's a great plan but unfortunately they closed their business a few months ago. I am doing it now to regain my health, but they don't have any support groups going and I don't know any way to buy the workbooks or DVD's except if you run into them on eBay or something.

Your mom is so right, that's exactly what you are doing. When we have an empty spot inside of us we try to fill it, but sometimes we try with the wrong thing. I do hope you can get started on your grief therapy soon. Try keeping nothing but healthy foods in the house...a readymade salad in the refrigerator, lean meat, fruit, vegetables, peanut butter. Get rid of any snack items, sugar, white flour products (including pasta). Avoid fried foods. You'll find if you have 1 cup brown rice, 2 cups stir-fried vegetables (use 1 T olive oil if you must, but a bit of water to finish with), and 1 oz. sliced pork also stir fried (before the vegetables, then remove), it will fill you up, you'll have a hard time eating anything else! Try drinking a whole glass of water before your meal. Eat a piece of fruit in the evening instead of your favorite comfort food. Use a medium sized plate instead of a large plate. Be conscious of your eating...don't multitask while you're eating...let it be something you fully experience instead of "mindless eating". Have you ever looked down at your empty plate or bowl and didn't remember even eating it? Chances are you were doing something else at the same time (talking on the phone, on the computer, driving, watching t.v.). Sit at the table when you eat, let it be the only experience so you are fully conscious of it. You might try looking up the nutritional information on everything you eat (weigh, measure so you know what you're eating). It is an eye-opener! Not all food has to be bad for you in order to enjoy it. Once you get off the sugar and excess carbs, you begin to fully experience and enjoy each bite of food for what it is! Carrots taste sweet, bell peppers have so much flavor, etc. Try to let your fat be that of plant fat (olives, peanut butter, avocados, etc.) instead of animal fat. Fat and sugar seem to go hand and hand with cravings. Once you're off sugar about two weeks, you'll have broken the addiction and you won't crave it as much, plus you'll feel better, calmer, less anxiety. It's amazing! You'll feel more energy too!

Good luck to you!

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Also, I'm learning that it feels liberating to control what we can. We couldn't control their death...and following that our eating was out of control as we both didn't care and tried to fill that void (unsuccessfully), but in getting control over your eating (your very health!), it makes you feel good, you're in charge of something! We may not be able to control everything that happens in our lives, but it's nice to know there are some things still within our power.

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I saw that you were doing a diet and was curious as to what it was and I was planning on to start clean eating. And the appointment is on Dec 15th and I plan on talking to my doctor about it too.

The only hard part and perhaps excuse is that I am getting into the harder parts of college so I am always exhausted or starving and want to zip through a drive through but I think im going to start prepping food so there is no excuse.

I definitely need to shrink my stomach and knock off the carbs and sugar, like you said. I mean I lost 50 lbs before, but they came back with a vengeance!

I would definitely love to have control of SOMETHING. I know I over eat and i dont even know what correct portion sizes are!

Thank you!

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If you buy "Fat Book" by Karen J. Bellerson, it is great...it tells serving sizes, calories, fat grams. (Can probably get it on Amazon or eBay.) You want your fat grams to be about 30 per day, preferably plant fat. I was on Prism for years and did great with it, I was the Director...I started gaining weight when George died, I didn't care and was depressed, anxious, etc. I didn't have any motivation to "just do it" until my doctor gave me my medical results...that is incentive! I find Prism an easy diet and you don't have to go out and buy special stuff like Jenny Craig. I tried Weight Watchers but it didn't work for me...Prism does not allow you to cheat, it holds you accountable, and I need that. I know so many people in Overeaters Anonymous and they join and you never see them drop weight, it seems it's more social than serious. Maybe groups elsewhere are different. I think everyone has to find what works for them.

I do have a lot of info on Prism, if you are interested, you can IM me your email address and I'll send it to you.

I'm so glad you're taking the bull by the horns! :)

eBay: $3.74 (including shipping)

http://www.ebay.com/itm/THE-COMPLETE-UP-TO-DATE-FAT-BOOK-BY-KAREN-J-BELLERSON-/161510940878?pt=US_Nonfiction_Book&hash=item259acd60ce

Amazon: $4.00 (including shipping)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/1583330992/ref=sr_1_5_twi_2_olp?ie=UTF8&qid=1417956727&sr=8-5&keywords=Fat+Book

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Another added thought: Almost any diet plan will accomplish what it sets out to do...i.e., lose weight. It's what happens next that is one of the most important things...it's so important to create a maintenance plan for yourself that you can stick to for life! Otherwise, it does come back with a vengeance, and it's so unhealthy to yoyo because that messes our metabolism up. People who stay slender and maintain a right weight can eat more later in life than those of us who have yoyoed in our life. I plan on creating a maintenance plan after I've reached goal weight that will enable me to keep at my right weight, but allow myself a special treat for my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter. It's important to write out the plan because if you wing it, you will come up with a host of excuses to indulge! We are masters at justifying our behavior. If I write out my plan, I can sign it and make it an ironclad agreement that I can stick to. It's like if you don't have a goal, you don't achieve it. Dreaming is nice, but you have to act on it or it never comes in to play.

Also, it's not enough to take away your way of coping (eating)...you must fill that void. In Prism, they direct us to God, but really, everyone can decide for themselves what will fill that void, it takes some contemplation...perhaps meditating when you get the urge to munch (but you aren't truly hungry). Or go for a run/walk! Grief counseling will also aid you in your coping.

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Thank you so very much for the links!

I definitely like that I dont have to buy anything special because as a college student who is still a dependent, I partially by my own groceries but when I go home, my mom does and her and I like sweets lol so I need to help her change too or get a stronger will which I do not have.

Also, i have a full time college student so fast food is convenient when I am starving and dont have time. I know I need to prep food and thatll help. I need to get back on food journaling because it helped me own up to my mistakes like you said you needed. I definitely need to learn maintenance too and dont have any help issues yet but I know I will if I dont take care of myself!

I think running with help and something to give me an emotional release. I do turn to God but I think I need a little something like exercising too, just to make sure I dont ignore myself lol

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I have a form you can have her sign if you decide to do this. Family/friends can sabotage our weight goals if we let them, it's up to us to protect ourselves. They don't realize they're doing that, but it means change for them too and that's hard. That happens a lot with husbands/wives. Yep, exercise is an integral part of it. A person doesn't need to run marathons and join a gym, but they do need to incorporate some exercise/movement into their lives on a regular basis.

Good luck, go for it, girl! :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

LOL thats funny! She helps but she can definitely "sabotage" it because I really do let her. She never finishes her plate of food and I often clean her plate lol

Since I am on the north campus now, I park about half a mile, maybe less, from the building and I have to walk there, so that is my first step! Thank you so very much for helping me :)

I am motivating my mom as she was born with type 1 Diabetes and has a bunch of health problems that come along with it and I told her she has to stay with me forever now that my dad is gone lol

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I hope your mom takes it to heart, you're too young to lose both parents. Have you been tested for Diabetes? Might not be a bad idea to keep an eye on your blood sugar levels too.

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Shari,

Haven't heard from you this week, hope you're doing okay, the holidays can be tough. I'm halfway to goal (25 down, 25 to go), and I want to encourage you that you can get on top of eating your troubles away, I'm doing it, although I think I ate to fill an emotional void. I have to learn to fill that void (since I'm going to stay single) in other ways, make more friends, build my life more. I hope you'll let us know how you're doing!

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