This Past Week Was Very Hard.

[brnagn53]

I don't understand why this past week was so much harder than the week before. It seemed that everything was a trigger for me. There was no where that I went that something didn't remind me of Kermit. I tried going into a superstore to buy an outfit for Easter. Very bad idea. I had to wait for a cart then the closer I got to the women's department the more anxious I got. By the time I got to the department I felt like everything was closing in around me. I left the cart and practically ran out of the store. I had felt so vulnerable without Kermit. He had always helped me pick out my clothes. The week kind of went downhill from there. I am just starting to feel calmer and not so stressed. Especially social events are really hard right now. I don't have my best friend beside me anymore. I have tried to feel His presence but am not really able to. I do crawl up into papa God's lap often and I feel calmer when I do.My little four legged child Sammy does his best to comfort mommy.

[kayc]

I'm glad you have Sammy, nothing like a furry companion! I understand why shopping would be a trigger for you...I couldn't even bear to get groceries when I lost George because it was something we'd enjoyed doing together...it took a few months for me to get comfortable with it, and even then I'd feel a pang of jealousy when I saw men bagging up groceries for their wives. (((hugs))) Instead of trying to buy a new outfit, could you wear something you knew Kermit loved on you? Be it an outfit or jewelry...something with a good memory...then imagine him gazing upon you, I think he is, you know.

[brnagn53]

I had a bad ending to a very rough week. Some friends from church had planned today to help me organize our house. It was a disaster. I did not get asked how I wanted anything. By the time they were done it didn't even look or feel like home. The rooms did not feel familiar at all. Thank goodness I said no to them doing our bedroom. I cried for an hour after they left. I will have to look through boxes they packed up in order to get our house as a sanctuary again . I felt robbed of the peace I felt in the house. I am even crying as I write this.

I am wearing a dress jumper with a new Easter shirt under it. This will be my first holiday without Kermit. It has been a Very Hard week.

[kayc]

I am sorry you felt invaded, that's especially difficult at this time. I'm glad you still have your bedroom the way you want it. I'm sure they didn't understand that it changed the home you shared with your husband. Is there any way you could put some of it back the way it was?