chez Posted May 19, 2015 Report Share Posted May 19, 2015 Ok..this is my first post so bare with me... on may 27th it will be an actual year since the man I would have married passed away....we were only together a short while, but when you know,you know.... well a few months after he passed I had ran into an old flame from high school and he basically never left my side.... I told him of my situation. Also warned him that it would be a long time for me to let go.....but he still stuck around...kinda put me through it...he drank all the time and occasionally did other things(bad things) that I did not condone.... but I didn't have the energy to stand up to it.....so now.....ten months into the relationship, he is calling me emotionally immature....I feel CRAZY!!!! Technically yes, I'm quick to anger..always jealous...and I fiND myself trying to control everything...but I've NEVER been this way.....and my best friend agrees with me...and so does my mom....they both tell me I'm not crazy and that he is actually doing me wrong....but then he turns it around and makes me feel like I'm losing my mind! Is this normal!? I literally sit at home all day contimplating if I'm wrong or not.....uhhhh.....??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted May 19, 2015 Report Share Posted May 19, 2015 Drop this fool like the hot potato he clearly is. You may have issues of your own, but from what you've written here, he has issues you can't be dealing with in addition to your grief-inside issues.. He has a drinking problem. He has a behavior problem. You have fond memories of him from another place and time when you were both someone else. Your needs in grief have to take priority. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted May 19, 2015 Report Share Posted May 19, 2015 Harry is "right on." This person is trouble for you for now and always unless you drop him right away. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 19, 2015 Report Share Posted May 19, 2015 With the right person you will not need to feel jealous or insecure because you will know they are in it for YOU. This person sounds like baggage and it'll only get worse. You don't need someone to complete you, you can wing it alone, I've learned to and it's okay to be alone. Work on being right with yourself and if it's meant to be, you'll meet the right one on down the road, but right now I'd get rid of baggage, you don't need someone who is not morally or ethically on the same page as you, you don't need the drinking and the rest. Some of us have gotten a dog for company and it's way easier than the wrong man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 19, 2015 Report Share Posted May 19, 2015 It's called gas-lighting. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting and it is abuse. I didn't know it had a name either, and I've been a victim myself. I'm sorry but if he won't help you through your grief, but instead he misbehaves, it's immature and not at all what I'd need in your shoes. Best of luck to you. Some men are hard to shake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mittam99 Posted May 19, 2015 Report Share Posted May 19, 2015 kinda put me through it...he drank all the time and occasionally did other things(bad things) that I did not condone.... but I didn't have the energy to stand up to it..... This one is simple. Give him a swift kick in the azz and be done with him. He's toxic for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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