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Grief Healing Discussion Groups


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About HAP

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 04/05/1952

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  • Date of Death
    December 10, 2010
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  • Interests
    Gardening, Writing, Mountain Climbing, Teaching, Landscaping, Reading, Walking, Technology

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  1. I posted this earlier today on my blog, but thought it would have value for some here as well. I remember to forget forgetting I lost track of the date over the weekend. It happens when you really don't have a good reason to remember. But I don't really need a calendar to find the tenth of any month. All I have to do is look at my behavior and how I'm feeling. My subconscious knows the monthly anniversary of Jane's death even when my conscious mind doesn't. It really starts the night before. I avoid going to bed. When I get there, I don't sleep. I know what Ebenezer Scrooge dre
  2. I moved the last of the stone out of the driveway today and began buttoning up the outside of the house for the winter. I didn't get everything done I wanted to out there this year. It turns out there are only so many hours in the day--and only so many good days to work outside in a year. But I got the back half of Jane's memorial garden done and placed the stone there, got the patio and the garden path done, got the path from the front of the house to the back of the house and along the back of the house done, and started on the two raised beds in the back. The drought did a number on th
  3. Tomorrow, I head to Boston for two days of Visiting Committee meetings for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, starting with a reception for NET cancer donors tomorrow afternoon. I'll have both good and bad news for them. The bad news is the loss this summer of two influential patients who have helped shape NET cancer research and awareness. The good news is we've raised around $900,000 in charitable donations for NET cancer research at DFCI since early December of last year--and have a good shot at reaching $1 million by December 9. Last week, my youngest brother came to visit. We had eigh
  4. There are few things that give me more delight than holding a new book created by a former student in my hand. For the second time in 30 months I had that experience today. Scott Baker's Traveling Asia arrived today. It's a collection of photographs from his travels across that continent over the last 10 years. They're all nice, but several are extraordinary pieces of photography. I think back to who he was when he walked into my classroom as a shy and terrified freshman almost 20 years ago and I smile. He financed his trips by teaching English to children in Korea. Now, he is training to
  5. Great news today! 1. The #cureNETcancernow teams have raised over $129,000 so far for the Boston Marathon Jimmy Fund Walk. With money I know is still out there--and a little help from people who have not yet donated--we should end up with between $140-$150,000 for NET cancer research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. 2. That money all counts toward our DFCI Program for Neuroendocrine and Carcinoid Tumors "3-in-3: The Campaign to Cure NET Cancer" goal and, with some other money we know is coming, pushes the total we've raised since December 9, 2015 to $850-$900,000 dollars. Our millio
  6. We raised $3020 tonight for NET cancer research between dinner sales and donations. Yes! Pax et lux, Harry
  7. Thank you all for our kind words. I probably need to be here more often, but life has gotten insanely busy between one thing and another. Next week is typical: a pamphlet to draft and design during the day and a fundraiser Monday night, house and yard work Tuesday, with a trip to the bank in there somewhere, two meetings in Boston Wednesday, tests on the nerves in my feet Thursday followed by a fundraising letter, theater that night, prep work for craft fairs later in the month on Friday, Cranberry Fest--relaxation--and theater Saturday, and some bookkeeping on Sunday with meal prep work for t
  8. I arrived here a few moments ago largely by accident. What a pleasant surprise to discover this topic is not only still here, but pinned to the top of the page. I had hoped people would find it useful--and it seems people have--a nice positive thought on a day that has had more than a few difficulties in it. I'm not here much anymore--actually it's likely been nearly a year since my last visit. My wife's death, nearly six years ago, still feels fresh as the day it happened much of the time. But I have meaningful work every day that needs doing. I now chair a fundraising effort at Dan
  9. At last this morning, I found my camera and time in concert. Here is what the topiary looks like at this point. --Harry
  10. Thank you all for your kind words. Anne, I'll try to post an updated picture once I finish a project I have in hand this weekend. Harry
  11. Dear Friends, Jane would have been 61 today. She would have awakened to cards and flowers and gifts and a poem and breakfast in bed. Later, we would have driven to southern NH to look for Christmas presents and browse the shops. We’d have had lunch in a restaurant we stopped at whenever we were there, then travelled home for a quiet night snuggled on the couch. Instead, I went to the cemetery where her body is buried this morning. I left some mums there and a card and some tears. I was angry when I left—and sad. Five years is a long time to be in mourning. Five years is no time at all to be in
  12. Congratulations Anne. And glad to hear the surgery went well, Mary. --Harry
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