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Grief Healing Discussion Groups


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About HAP

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 04/05/1952

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  • Date of Death
    December 10, 2010
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  • Interests
    Gardening, Writing, Mountain Climbing, Teaching, Landscaping, Reading, Walking, Technology

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  1. I moved the last of the stone out of the driveway today and began buttoning up the outside of the house for the winter. I didn't get everything done I wanted to out there this year. It turns out there are only so many hours in the day--and only so many good days to work outside in a year. But I got the back half of Jane's memorial garden done and placed the stone there, got the patio and the garden path done, got the path from the front of the house to the back of the house and along the back of the house done, and started on the two raised beds in the back. The drought did a number on th
  2. Tomorrow, I head to Boston for two days of Visiting Committee meetings for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, starting with a reception for NET cancer donors tomorrow afternoon. I'll have both good and bad news for them. The bad news is the loss this summer of two influential patients who have helped shape NET cancer research and awareness. The good news is we've raised around $900,000 in charitable donations for NET cancer research at DFCI since early December of last year--and have a good shot at reaching $1 million by December 9. Last week, my youngest brother came to visit. We had eigh
  3. There are few things that give me more delight than holding a new book created by a former student in my hand. For the second time in 30 months I had that experience today. Scott Baker's Traveling Asia arrived today. It's a collection of photographs from his travels across that continent over the last 10 years. They're all nice, but several are extraordinary pieces of photography. I think back to who he was when he walked into my classroom as a shy and terrified freshman almost 20 years ago and I smile. He financed his trips by teaching English to children in Korea. Now, he is training to
  4. Great news today! 1. The #cureNETcancernow teams have raised over $129,000 so far for the Boston Marathon Jimmy Fund Walk. With money I know is still out there--and a little help from people who have not yet donated--we should end up with between $140-$150,000 for NET cancer research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. 2. That money all counts toward our DFCI Program for Neuroendocrine and Carcinoid Tumors "3-in-3: The Campaign to Cure NET Cancer" goal and, with some other money we know is coming, pushes the total we've raised since December 9, 2015 to $850-$900,000 dollars. Our millio
  5. We raised $3020 tonight for NET cancer research between dinner sales and donations. Yes! Pax et lux, Harry
  6. Thank you all for our kind words. I probably need to be here more often, but life has gotten insanely busy between one thing and another. Next week is typical: a pamphlet to draft and design during the day and a fundraiser Monday night, house and yard work Tuesday, with a trip to the bank in there somewhere, two meetings in Boston Wednesday, tests on the nerves in my feet Thursday followed by a fundraising letter, theater that night, prep work for craft fairs later in the month on Friday, Cranberry Fest--relaxation--and theater Saturday, and some bookkeeping on Sunday with meal prep work for t
  7. I arrived here a few moments ago largely by accident. What a pleasant surprise to discover this topic is not only still here, but pinned to the top of the page. I had hoped people would find it useful--and it seems people have--a nice positive thought on a day that has had more than a few difficulties in it. I'm not here much anymore--actually it's likely been nearly a year since my last visit. My wife's death, nearly six years ago, still feels fresh as the day it happened much of the time. But I have meaningful work every day that needs doing. I now chair a fundraising effort at Dan
  8. Congratulations Anne. And glad to hear the surgery went well, Mary. --Harry
  9. Dear friends, Thank you all for your kind words. I was in a very difficult place last week, especially Wednesday and Thursday. I just started shaking Wednesday afternoon. I knew what was happening, understood it, but also knew there was nothing I could do to slow it down. So I curled up in a chair and just stopped doing anything. It was the worst I've felt in a long while. I am glad for those of you who find prayer useful. Meditation serves that purpose for me--though I think true prayer is a meditation. What bothers me is when prayer--or meditation--becomes the answer to everything. I had se
  10. “Why this is hell, and nor am I out of it.” —Mephistopheles in “Faust" One year ago today, my father left a message on my cell phone—a thing he’d never done before. About an hour later, he had a stroke. One year ago yesterday, they found my niece in a motel room. She was dead of a heroin overdose. One year ago tomorrow, my father died while I was on my way to Seattle. Five years ago Tuesday, Jane had a biopsy on a mass in her liver. Five years ago Sunday, the doctor told us Jane had carcinoid cancer. Less than four months later she died in my arms. This morning, someone told me they would pr
  11. Relay is over for another year. We raised $7776. Now I need some recovery time. But I start teaching tomorrow. At lest I won't be talking about cancer. Peace, Harry
  12. Dear friends, I got a call this morning from the woman who owns the miniature golf course we have scheduled our tournament at. She's decided to donate whatever money they get from people who don't want to play in the tournament but still want to use the course that night to our Jimmy Fund walk effort. This may work yet. Kay, he didn't look very good when i visited tonight. The procedure for the stool transplant is Tuesday. I am keeping my fingers crossed. If it fails to change things, I suspect he will stop dialysis. He's had enough. Peace, Harry
  13. Dear friends, June is turning into an insanely busy month. We had a successful craft fair June 7, have scheduled a miniature golf tournament for late August, continued with a range of garden projects, and are preparing for Relay for Life in less than two weeks. July, I am teaching fundamentals of journalism five mornings a week in Boston, which will be a vacation of sorts because it will take me out of full time cancer fighting mode for about six weeks. Then, things get intense until the end of November, when i'll try to take an extended break through the holidays. I saw Jane's dad t
  14. Dear friends, We had a good--if long overdue--Walking with Jane board meeting yesterday. We generally meet in January, but between my ongoing oral surgeries and the snow--not to mention a dozen different scheduling conflicts--this was the earliest we could get everyone together. I chose people for the board not only because they were our good friends but because I knew I could trust them to be honest about their thoughts and concerns. We spent a lot of time yesterday talking about where we need to go and what we need to do next. It's time to focus entirely on our primary missions: educati
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