Maylissa Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 I don't know where to turn for help with this, so all I can do is post here and hope someone has some words of wisdom, some advice for me.I just received a letter from my Mom's sister, the aunt who I'd had a falling-out with after my Mother's and brother's deaths. We already know she suffers from paranoia ( at least 2 other relatives have noticed the same thing ), so certain things in her letter can be discounted, as her stories are getting wilder and wilder ( and more gruesome ) all the time. And much of the family news she wrote about can't be trusted, because of that. However, she's obviously talked to my remaining brother, at least in Nov./05, and so I've found out that another uncle has indeed died, whose estate was to go to my father, but my brother has taken his money as his own, even though our father isn't dead yet, but in a home, with dementia. She also mentioned that my Mother's, an aunt's and this uncle's ashes are still at my brother's house, uninterred. That was enough, in itself, to upset the heck out of me. But then I discovered that my brother has also been lying to her, too, and claimed he was still paying a monthly bill to the home our father's in....and boo-hoo, was having such a time with his bills. I know this is untrue because the Province had to take over his care, and took away my brother's Power of Attorney for him, directly because he wouldn't pay the home. This happened last summer, so that makes this a recent lie from the fall. He's playing "Poor Me", and this aunt is not only buying it, but is, once again, making excuses for him ( and by extension, his terrible behaviour ). I could SHRIEK!!!! NOT ONE PERSON IN MY ENTIRE FAMILY HAS EVER EXTENDED AN OUNCE OF COMPASSION FOR ME, though I was the one ( along with my Mother ) who was treated so badly by the other two.On top of this, she wondered if my father hadn't smothered my Mother with a pillow, causing her final stroke. SOB!!! And although this is a terrible thing to say to a daughter in grief, the worst part is that I wondered the same thing myself, 2 years ago, but as no autopsy was done, I realized I'd just never know for certain. So now I sit, with this idea brought up anew, to add to my sorrow, again. There was more news, too, of her family, much of it involving her daughter, the one cousin who's let me down so badly this year, and suggesting I shouldn't trust her...but this is from someone I know is paranoid....same as my father is with his demetia. Another sister of my Mom's has dementia, too now. So now, as I sit with all these horrid memories, and refreshed rage at my father, brother and this aunt and cousin, I feel like I'm in Hell. My entire family, plus a number of relatives, seem to all be suffering from one form of mental illness or another. Not only does this make me extremely frightened for my OWN sanity which, goodness knows, might suddenly take such a nose-dive, too, but makes me seriously wonder if I ought to run fast and far, away from ALL of them forever?!! I'd just been considering calling this one cousin, to find out if she was ever going to send me the pictures of my Mom she claimed to have, or not - to finalize at least that in my mind. Now I don't know if they're ALL loopy, or what! I'm going 'mental' myself, with seeing that in MY family, there is no hope for anything good to come of anything. Years ago, I used to think, "Okay, good...I've distanced myself from all the craziness....now I'll be okay, now I can recover..." Now I'm wondering if these mental health problems are going to get ME, too, sooner or later. Now it seems like a never-ending pattern of abuses, among ALL my relatives, towards everyone who comes into contact with any of them. Gawd....I just keep losing more and more pieces of myself, more of my history, any good that used to be in it....every single year. I'm totally blown away, ripped up inside, and don't know what to do anymore. I can't live with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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