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Without My Mom I have No Blood Family.

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Hello Everyone,

I'm starting to warm up to posting more. Thank you everyone who has been replying to my posts. You have no clue how much it means to me to have this support system. Lately, I've been struggling with people reminding me that I am my mothers legacy. My mom struggled her whole life from drug addiction to being a single parent to numerous tragedies. However, she kept me in a bubble to protect me from everything. I became an overly motivated 20 something whose goal oriented due to my mothers efforts. I feel lost without her some days because she was my support system. Our family was never close and my dad was a deadbeat. She was my whole family. I never spoke to any of my family members and even now after my moms death, I still don't speak to them. 

However, my moms best friend who basically helped raised me has come to my rescue and her family has taken me, this very lost recently 25 year old in who just lost her mom. I'm so grateful for that. I'm grateful for them being there when I myself feel as though Im going off the edge. My moms birthday was on Tuesday January 12th, she would have been 46 years old. They took me to lunch and we celebrated her birthday. They gave me an avenue to speak about how I was feeling. 

I think the grief process for me has been made me difficult by the fact that my moms death marked the end of any genetic family I had. I have days where I feel utterly alone, and those days her death hits my even more. 

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I'm glad you have someone to turn to.  25 is young to have to go through this, you're still getting bearing on who YOU are and suddenly you feel your identity shattered?  It's a lot to deal with.  I lost my dad when I was 29, and I was a daddy's girl, so that was tough.  I'm sorry for all you're going through.  Sometimes the best "family" we have are the ones we get to choose, so I hope while you focus on that, that it helps you not think about the fact that genetically you don't have family left...perhaps someday you will create your own genetic family.  You'll find your way through this, you've already survived so much!  (((hugs)))

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