Feeling Like I'm Losing It

[Guest Guest_Shubom_*]

I feel like crap today. My sister and I got into a heated argument over nothing, just our usual, but this time, mother isn't around to intervene, and it escalated beyond control. My sister's boyfriend stepped in and broke it up. We are really close, but my mom's death has made me feel looney. I didn't want to take this trip, but my sister convinced me, which made me even more angry during the argument. We talked it over and are ok now, but now I just can't stop crying. I feel so bad that her boyfriend had to step in and break it up. He's been helping us through this difficult time. He's pretty much the best stable thing in her life and I'm afraid he thinks we are crazy and somehow will stop helping out. He's never lost a parent, so he may not understand the crazy mixed emotions coming from us. See, my mom and I are so alike and we were so close. She was the only one that understood me, and now that she's gone,I feel so bad and so hurt. After my dad passed away, I knew that my mother was all we had. I obsessed about that for years, and now it's a freaking reality ! I have no one in my life that cares about me more than my mom. This makes me feel as if I'm going looney. I hate feeling like I need someone in my life to help me out. I needed my mom and that's all I needed. Now I feel like I need the whole world !!! Sometimes I feel so destructive I just want to run away from everyone, from life ! Go and live out in the country somewhere ..... alone. Anyone anywhere have any advice on how to .....I don't know .......deal with these crazy mixed emotions !

[hikingf44]

Hey, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. You must be single. I am as well. I don't know if it's as hard on people who have a "significant other" or not but I feel really really bad. It's so hard...I'm 48 years old...so lucky to have had my mother for so many years but I just can't cope. On top of my mama passing away on December 23rd....totally unexpectedly, we're having major layoffs where I work, and I'm trying to "kinda" take care of my 78 year old daddy. He's been in pretty bad health for a long time. I am the only sibling that lives near by. It is so hard. I have had to take time off work to try to get a grip. I go back on Monday....just praying I can stand it. Hang in there...I'm right there with you. I don't really want to be alone...I just want the pain to stop and to be able to handle my life. Right now I feel it's just spinning out of control...too hard.

[shell]

Shubom and Hiking,

I'm so sorry for both of you. Losing my dad was bad enough, but losing my mom is going to be devastating to me. I worry so much about her that I feel sometimes like I'm already grieving. Talk about looney thoughts. Yes, we all have them. And wanting to run off and live out in the country or some other isolated place, I have had that same thought! I guess all we can do is just face our feelings and cry them out and hang in as best we can.

Hugs to both of you,

Shell

[whoopie]

Group huggggggggs!!! That runnin away thing is a common feeling that I see many share about on here...maybe we should have a grief cruise!!! So we can eat, talk, share, cry, and maybe have some fun while we are at it!! At least a break from the insanity and lonliness. Well, might never become reality but, it was fun to day dream it for a brief time.

Hang in there, I know I'm trying to,

whoopie

[shell]

Whoopie,

That WAS a fun day dream! We often mention how we wish we could all meet or lived in the same city. Well, at least we have this board....sigh.

Shell