LittleGirl'sMommy

Rosemary, I'm sorry you are in this pain. When I lost my Little Girl on March 24, I, too, lost my soulmate (although I believe without a doubt that she is still here with me---just not physically). I also left a 15-year friendship over this because of lack of support. I don't need friends like that, and neither do you. I feel so bad that no friends came over to console you!! I am glad you are seeing a therapist. You are a great Mom; don't forget that. Does your vet have any medical idea why Morgan is running around like that? I have never heard of that. Keep in touch. You're in my prayers, Kathy

Khisha, I'm sorry about this heartbreaking time! You are such an awesome Mom to Tuffy, it is obvious. I know you are facing one of the most excruciatingly painful times in your life. Wow--He is 15 and still romping around with you. What a very special relationship you 2 have (speaking of relationships, I love the story about the boyfriends! ). It must be so hard to even imagine life without Tuffy by your side. I lost my sweet Little Girl (cat) on March 24. It still hits me sometimes with disbelief that I'm supposed to actually live my life here on earth before she and I are reunited! I want to be with her NOW. (I do get signs that she's around, and these comfort me a lot.) Tuffy knows how you feel about him. When the time comes... we will help you through the grief, one day at a time. Please keep in touch! Love, Kathy

Nili, So sorry about your loss! Remember that he died outside playing---something he loved! And please try not to feel guilty. We are human and can't be on guard every minute. Of course if you had known anything was wrong, you would have been by Joey's side immediately. You will see Joey again, when it's your time. In the meantime, he's experiencing only bliss. If the roles had been reversed, you would want Joey to be able to go on, knowing it wasn't his time yet. You'd want the most love and happiness possible in his life. Don't forget that. Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.

Hi, I'm so sorry!! I know you must be awfully sad. But you tried to nurse him back to health---don't forget that. He was probably just so malnourished or had some other condition already at work. Please don't feel guilty. And he got to die in the arms of someone who loved him---not alone outside somewhere. Hugs, Kathy p.s. Baby Dibbs is experiencing only bliss now.

Becka! How are you?? Did you have the funeral yesterday? I'm sorry I didn't write to check up on you yesterday. I am thinking about you. Just know that you're not alone (even though it sure must seem this way, without Sandy and Teddy's physical presences). Sandy and Teddy are with you in spirit; their spirits are their true selves---their souls. The hard part is that their cuddly, furry, lovable bodies had to pass on. You and Sandy and Teddy WILL be fully reunited when it's your time to go (I have no doubts whatsoever; we can talk more about this sometime if you want ). In the meantime, your soul is still living inside your physical body, which means you have more living to do on this earthly plane. Sandy and Teddy understand this (in the realm they're in, they really are all-wise) and they want you to be able to go on. It is terrible that not many people understand or want to talk about the love and loss of animals!!! I don't get it. All I know is that I'm grateful for support groups like this one. I don't know what I would have done without this group (and another one that I'm still on). Losing my Little Girl (kitty) was the thing in life I had most feared, and I didn't know whether I'd be able to survive this loss (when I lost my Mariah in 1998 I became very very sick). Well, Little Girl passed on March 24, and ......i am surving, thanks to the love and support of people like you on these groups. For the first few days, I stayed in bed with my laptop computer and spent hours and hours on these groups. I knew I had to be connected to people who understood . Other than that, I watched the Lifetime channel and slept! . I know you still have to go to school. Just know that you aren't alone, and you can come home from school and get on this site and you'll be among family. I really understand your predicament about others not understanding and empathizing with your pain. Write any time! Please keep in touch. Kathy ekleigh@yahoo.com

Oh Rosemary, I'm so sorry about what happened!!! How are you doing?? Please know that whatever it was that caused Merlin's death, you couldn't have done anything to prevent it, so don't feel guilty about ANYTHING. For some unknown reason, it was Merlin's time for his little body to pass on. But his spirit is still here; he's in a realm where there's only bliss and no sense of time or space. He's ok---not in any physical or emotional distress. And he's lived an earthly life better than 99% of animals could ever hope for in this world! You are such a wonderful Mom! Morgan is lucky... Hold each other close. Please keep in touch, and write whatever/whenever you need. My thoughts and prayers are there with you. Love and understanding, Kathy

My heart goes out to you in this terrible, heart-wrenching pain!! Klever was obviously a loving---and very loved---dog. You gave him 10 "bonus" years (he may not have survived long enough to be adopted if not for you). You were meant to be in each other's lives (though I know it wasn't long enough!). I know you would have given anything to have been there to comfort Klever when he had his seizure. He understands that! Know that he is experiencing only bliss now---no pain, no sadness. And remember that because he loves you as much as you love him, he would want you to be okay. Love is a 2-way street. If the roles had been reversed and it had been you who passed on, you would want him to be okay down here in your physical body. In the meantime, I guess grief is a one-day-at-a-time thing... My healing process has been helped SO much by being on the 3 different online grief-support groups I spend time at. At first I spent hours on them each day. Now I check in every day but I'm not on for as long. The intense/acute pain subsides over time (though some days are tougher than others). You will be reunited with sweet Klever when it's your time. Hold Bumpy close. You 3 can grieve together. Write any time! You're in my prayers. -Little Girl's Mommy

My thoughts are there with you. I wish we didn't have to go through this pain! Maybe it's because we are capable of SO much love--that we are also capable of this much grief. I guess this makes us really alive... but sometimes it's too tough to handle. I miss my Little Girl and my Mariah. Some days I think I just won't be able to stand it. Hugs and prayers to you. Write any time. We're in this together, Kathy

Frannie, I'm so sorry for your losses!!! My heart really goes out to you. There is nothing like the grief after we lose a beloved furkid. I think the majority of people can't imagine what it's like. When I lost my Little Girl on 3/24/04, I spent hours and hours on 3 different pet-loss support groups I'm with (including this one; they're all online groups), watched movies, and stayed away from people who wouldn't understand. One thing that has helped me is knowing that she and Mariah (I lost her to pancreatitis on 7/13/98) are in perfect bliss now---no physical or emotional pain, no sense of time like we whose souls are still living in our bodies experience. We'll all be reunited when it's time. But in the meantime... it is heart-wrenching, I know. How are the other kids handling everything? ....Hold each other close and get through... one day at a time. Write as much and as often as you need to. You're in my prayers! -Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

I'm so sorry about the loss of Chisum. It is obvious that you provided for him a wonderful 14 years!!! Wow. Please, please try not to feel guilty. It was his time (even though if it had been up to you, he would have lived exactly as long as you...). It was nothing that you did. His little body was wearing out; even without the cancer, his body wasn't designed to live much (if any) longer, for whatever reason. God/nature created his little body that way. But his spirit is very much alive; it's just not in his body anymore. You will be reuinted, but in the meantime, his spirit is experiencing only bliss--no emotional or physical pain! Chisum loves you as much as you love him. He doesn't want you to be paralyzed by grief, even though the grieving process naturally brings with it a lot of sadness. But life does eventually make a way for you to go on, and even to be happy again, although it doesn't seem right now that it could ever be possible. What a major change in your life--I know. In my grief over the loss of my sweet Little Girl, what helped the most was talking to people in my life who understood this heart-wrenching grief, spending hours upon hours on 3 different pet-loss grief-support groups I'm on, and even watching some really good movies. ....One day at a time... You are in my thoughts and prayers. Much love, Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

Barry, I'm so sorry about your loss! It is heart-breaking, I know. I can only imagine your horror when you saw Max bleeding!!! Even though you feel guilty, please know that guilt is a normal reaction with many types of deaths, even though in this case it was a tragic accident (as your head has been trying to tell you). But your heart is broken and so it's understandable that in its brokenness it is feeling guilt. Mistakes happen every day, and the odds are that some result in tragedy. If only we could go back in time... especially when life changes drastically in a split second. Max understands your love for him, and he feels the same for you and doesn't want you to remain paralyzed with grief...and definitely not with guilt.... remember this. And in the meantime, he's experiencing only pure bliss and there'll be no pain of any kind for him. When you join him, I can just imagine the reunion you will have... In the meantime, lavish as much love on your other kids as you can as you comfort each other. Sending prayers and comfort your way, Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

Hi Shelley and Cliff, I am so so sorry about Shadow's passing! I can only imagine your horror and panic and desperation during your trip to the vet!! You did the very best than anyone could have done! You had no way of knowing what was to come--even the vet couldn't have predicted the seizures and death 2 days after her appointment. You did exactly the right thing by having the vet run those tests. And you were on your way back for her next check-up. It is obvious what awesome parents you 2 are. Even if there are little things you wish you had done, or wish you hadn't done (I say this only because it's common in a time of grief to have regrets---we all do), remember that you're human----but know that you are 2 of most compassionate parents there could ever be. I have no doubts that Shadow Marie knows all this. She knows she's had the luckiest 7 years a cat could have had. I was just thinking--- I've read a lot of posts from people who regret that they hadn't been there with their furchildren when they passed on, that their babies hadn't been in their arms. I know it's no consolation, but probably the vet couldn't have worked a miracle at that stage... and so Shadow might have died without your arms physically surrounding her. Now that her soul isn't inside her physical body, she is experiencing only complete bliss and a love so perfect that we whose souls are still being housed in these bodies can't yet fathom what it's like. For her there's no physical or emotional pain----unlike for her 2 precious parents. But wouldn't want you to be paralyzed with grief. I'm glad---and of course Shadow Marie is glad---- that you have each other to lean on and comfort and love. You will get through this, one day at a time. Spend time on this site; we're all here for each other. Much love and comfort, Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

I'm so sorry about Chloe's tragic death! And for the excruciating grief you and Libbey are now experiencing. I can only imagine. Personally, I don't know about dogs' reactions to grief, especially in your case, where Libbey witnessed this ghastly killing first-hand. My guess would be that her shaking and lack of appetite, etc., are related to what she saw. She must have been so traumatized by seeing this--not only the killing, but the killing of her dear sister. Maybe when you cry she feels more vulnerable? I know that those who witness violent crimes are subject to post-traumatic stress disorder, nightmares, etc. etc. I really feel for you and Libbey in your time of pain. I hope that the people in your life are supportive. Come here as often as you need! And hold Libbey close. You and she will get through this together, one day at a time. You both loved Chloe dearly; you may even find that this tragedy brings the 2 of you closer than ever. And know that Chloe is ok now--free of any pain, emotional or physical--and in pure bliss. You all will be reunited, I am sure, when it's your time. Please write again and let us know how you are doing. Sending you strength and comfort, -Kathy ekleigh@yahoo.com

Hi, I'm very sorry for your huge loss and for the excruciating pain. It's such a difficult decision to make---when to help a pet to pass on. Tootsie is fine now (not experiencing any pain or sadness--just pure bliss) and completely understands about the sufferering she endured during her last days in her physical body. I'm sure she wanted to stay in her body for as long as she could, so you could have her with you. She holds nothing against you. You tried everything you possibly could!! And she sure knows how much she was (and is) loved. There is nothing like the sheer emptiness of life after losing a pet. Life seems foreign, like a nightmare that we're forced to keep having. It's heart-wrenching. The things that have helped me the most are knowing my Little Girl is experiencing only bliss, and the support I have gotten at 3 online grief-support groups as we help each other deal with this pain (the first few days I spent hours on these groups), and other support from certain others in my life who really really understand. Oh, and knowing that my Little Girl wants me to be able to go on. Her earthly life was over, but I'm stuck here for longer, and she understands that. I am positive that Tootsie doesn't want you to stay paralyzed with grief. Remember that love is a 2-way street, and her love for you is great! If the roles had been reversed and you were the one who had passed, you wouldn't want sweet Tootsie's grief to be debilitating. You would want her to have as good of a life as she possibly could while her soul was still living in her physical body. ...And when it's your time, you'll be reunited forever! You are a wonderful, very special Mom---it's obvious. Write any time! Much comfort and love, Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy ekleigh@yahoo.com p.s. Would it also help to write a letter to Tootsie, pouring out everything---any regrets you're feeling, the love you're feeling, etc.? I did that when I lost my cat Mariah in '98 following a horrible illness and it helped me to know that she understood how very much she had been loved, and how sorry I was for putting her through certain things, etc.

Oh Andrea!!! I just read your note and I felt something like a knife in my chest. I am so sorry!!! I can only begin to imagine your horror... and the excruciating pain you are still feeling. I want to say that we all make mistakes--every single day, each one of us. Most of them don't amount to anything major, but certain ones turn out to have severe consequences, as in your situation. BUT IT WAS STILL A MISTAKE. You certainly did not mean to do anything wrong. Please, please try and forgive yourself. God is all-compassionate and forgives you and wants you to be comforted. Babar forgives you and knows your love for him. His pain is over; he is feeling absolute bliss from now on (and it's so blissful where he is that even those who have left families behind don't want to come back). There is no physical or emotional pain at all. The only pain now is what YOU have been dealing with ever since. Your kitty knows that your soul will be here in your body for some time to come, and he wants you to be ok and to eventually be able to move on from this tragedy, because you have a life ahead of you. Remember that love is a 2-way street and that his love for you means that he wants the best for you. He would not want you to torture yourself. If the roles had been reversed and Babar had made the mistake that ended your life, you would not want him to suffer. You'd know he had just made an awful mistake. But you'd also know that making a mistake doesn't erase the love that's there. You'd want him to be comforted and to be okay, not to be paralyzed with grief and guilt. As time goes on, when you start to be able to smile again, Babar will be smiling too. Speaking of mistakes, I went to a funeral yesterday of a girl I had grown up with. She died in a car wreck because another driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and his truck had drifted across into her lane. He made a mistake (he was tired because he had been up late the night before, visiting his girlfriend, who was in the hospital) and killed a 42-year-old woman, leaving her boys motherless. I hear that he is having just an awful awful time of it. BUT---he is only human, and he made a mistake. But his intentions were not bad. I pray that both you and he are able to forgive yourselves. As tragic and horrible as these things are, they are still mistakes, and a certain percentage of mistakes will turn out to have devastating consequences. I am so sorry for your loss. Do you have support in your life to help you? Please keep coming to this group, and write any time. With heartfelt support and much love, Kathy ekleigh@yahoo.com