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CMA1995

How to deal with grieving boyfriend's need for space

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Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months now. but after being together for a little over 1 month, his brother tragically and suddenly passed away. Since then, he has been a totally different person. I have been there for him since the second he got the news, and I haven't left. We had a fight where he spoke to me and treated me in a way where I won't condone in a relationship that has been built on mutual respect and honesty. (this wasn't the first time and he blames the outbursts on his anxiety about his brother) I have been VERY understanding about his outbursts and high level of anxiety due to his brother's passing. But out of anger I broke up with him, he didn't seem to even care. Later on that day I call him to talk and take back what had happened.. but he did some self reflection and realized that he "needs space" because he doesn't want to treat me the way he has been treating me. 
What I don't understand is why he needs space from only me and why he is only pushing me away and is more involved with being with his friends when I have been nothing but good to him and there for him. He hasn't made me a priority at all since his brother died and I understood he has so much more going on, but why is it okay for him to be with his friends and not me? Why am I the only one that he needs time away from? 
I'm giving him the space he asked for, but it is really hard for me because he was so contradicting and confusing and refused to really talk about it. 
I love him and I believe what we have is special and he says the same...but then why the sudden change of heart. 

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It's a common grief response that one needs space from their relationship, usually they do the breaking up.  They can still see friends, work, etc. but relationships take more effort and they don't have it in them right now, they have nothing to give.

If you want to be supportive, it will be important not to have relationship talk right now.  Confusion is also part of grief response, up and down, mixed messages.  I have read all of the threads in this section, this is classic, I'm sorry.  It might help you to read the other threads here and see you are not alone in this nor is he in his response.

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