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[JohnG]

Another one of those days where everything is gray. I'm just going through the motions so far today, I don't feel like doing anything. Conversation seems pointless, friends are welcome but I don't feel like I have the energy to deal with much. I seem to be floating around the edges of everything, not taking part, just here.

It's all part of the grief process I know but it's such a hopeless feeling. It will pass, I needed to vent it, I guess.

Take care all.

[kath]

John,

My son used to say, "Mom, don't you just feel like we are air?" It seemed to fit so well with what you are saying. We're here, not involved or part of or even feeling like we belong. We exist, much like air. Hang in there, it changes.

Kath

[eldersister]

Today at work, I was walking to take a file to someone, and had the oddest feeling of "unreality" alomost like one has with a panic attack.....and I wondered about it. I realized that it was just that feeling of going through the motions of being "alright" --- when I clearly am not. I had just gotten an e-mail from a dear friend of m brother, who has been gone just 2 months (oh, it's 2 months today....I guess my body "knew" but I wasn't thinking of it...) Sometimes I think that I want too much of myself.

I didn't have that panic attack....it was just the feeling that something in my life is so very wrong. and it is...

[missyme]

i understand what both of you are saying. i know that my head is not "in it" anywhere in my life. i have plans to take my daughter for a "craft date" with a good friend this afternoon and have been dreading it since yesterday. i just want to sleep and forget for now.

i am going to take my daughter though and keep trying......

[mommy2markay]

I know what you mean, today a co worker was talking to me and I just sat there. I do what I have to do at work but when I get home it's so hard not to just stay in bed. My two boys keep me going and when I think I can't do it I try for them. Sometimes I feel like I have to put my feelings to the side so everyone else is ok. My heart is just filled with sadness. February 7 was two months since my daugher passed.

[emptyinside]

Boy, do I relate to this.

I was hanging out with friends, and I went to look for a restroom, and I remember walking around and suddenly being hit by this dazed and useless feeling. Like I can't see the point of anything. Even with talking to people, I'm having a big problem shaking off the feeling of being lost.

[niamh]

add me to that list relating. I go through the motions of work with a heaviness and then sometimes on the way back from a ciggie break it's like this unbelievable stunned feeling I get, I feel almost detatched completely from everything ....only for a split second and then it goes again. Guess maybe it's the body's way of letting this reality really slowly.

This might sound silly but it's like I'm always sad but sometimes I don't actually think or know about why...again this can be just for a second, it's not that I forget but at the same time it's like I do forget the full reality.

today is a waste of a day in work, I can't do anything and now I'm outta here, it's hometime at last!!