NotCoping

Thanks for all the help. I'm exhausted for no reason...I've not done anything today, so I'm going to bed and I'll probably be up at 2AM Your comments are helping...I don't even know how or what I feel right now, but in my heart where my husband lives, I know they are helping. My husband had a Klatskin tumor in his bile duct - rare and was given a 50 per cent chance of making it through the surgery. He had a 10 per cent chance of making it after five years. He made it almost 7 years. I am grateful for every second. I just hope he knows that.

I just don't understand what other people must be thinking. I don't want to be here alone, but no one calls, and the emails I had last week where people said were going to stop by - no one ever did. I know it's the holidays and people are busy, but I'm not thinking about them. I will end up here with my dog on Christmas - that will push me over the edge if I'm not there already I do have friends coming for the weekend next weekend, but they live a far distance, so I can't just go to their house and stay or vice versa. What are they thinking? Why would they think anyone would want to be alone after what happened? Mel

My real name is Melanie. Everybody calls me Mel. Thanks again for your help. I just don't know what else to do. I can't watch TV, can't play music. I do have a dog and I make myself walk him everyday. He is hurting as well.

Thank you both. It's nice to know someone understands. I do feel like a leper or something. After last weekend, the email, the phone calls and people dropping by just stopped. My husband had cancer surgery several years ago and died of complications and beginning the second week of November, he started getting worse. He was in ICU for a week before he left. I'm still waking up at 2AM and not getting back to sleep, having trouble keeping food down and crying all the time.

Less than two weeks ago is when I lost my husband. I'm miserable and alone and I have no idea what to do.