Today sucks, tomorrow will suck even more.
3 weeks ago today at 1pm I was giving him a kiss and telling him everything would be okay.
I should never have let them do it. I miss him so much it hurts. I want my Larry back.
We can go up tomorrow to pick up his ashes. I can't believe it, it seems so unreal. I want to go
for a ride with him and go out to eat with him damn it.
You know what drives me crazy thinking about, he kept asking for a grape slushy or unsweet tea from
mcdonalds but he couldn't have it because he was still on the ventilator. If I knew that was going to be
the last time he'd ever be able to have those things I would have done ANYTHING to make sure he had
what ever he wanted.
I know that he knew something was going to happen. He wouldn't sleep unless they gave him something
for pain and then he would wake up within an hour. He was terrified to sleep, he said he couldn't hear
himself breathing, but that was the heart pump.
He was afraid to die because he didn't want to see his dad
again. His dad was very abusive when Larry was a little boy made the kids steal and stuff a parent should never do.
I PROMISED Larry he would not be going to the same place his dad was, he would go some place much better.
I think im going to go throw myself in bed and cry until I cant cry anymore.
Im sorry for ranting but thanks for letting me.
Wendy